Most people identify who they are with what they do. This seems to work until the day arrives and one is out of work. Not only is there a loss of income, but there is a loss of identity.
Unfortunately, the recession has destabilized many with sudden job loss or in the case of recent graduates the inability to enter the job market. If you are lucky enough to be married, you have a teammate who can help out, and you don’t have to spend a dime to date your spouse. But what if you are single and unemployed—should you be dating or should you put romance on hold until you get a job?
The tendency when you grieve is to feel alienated and cocoon in your room, too depressed to see other people. However, this is the best time to see other people who will help you see yourself in a larger context by defining yourself through contrast: How do you differ from others? What is unique about you? What do you bring to the table? Dating will help you find the answer. When you know the answer, you will probably get a job because getting a job and dating are similar. They both involve: confidence, chemistry, energy, and the thrill of the hunt. Essentially, you are making a case for why you are the best candidate.
Reasons why you should date when you are unemployed:
- A date will appreciate your honesty. Intimacy means sharing vulnerability. You will be more alluring to a date when you remove your mask and be yourself without the pretense. What a relief—so much easier!
- If you used to spend a lot of money on a date, this is an opportunity to enjoy the free things in life with a friend without the need to weave an illusion, which no one can sustain. By getting back to basics you really get to the heart of the matter. Your dates involve more creativity and as a result, you transform into a more imaginative person. Reset your natural rhythm with nature—the shore, the park, a picnic.
- What kind of man or woman do you want? Someone who wants you for your money and job status, or someone who loves the real you. A good relationship has room for growth and develops hidden potential. Two people can bounce around ideas, network, and create an optimistic resiliency.
By Debbie Mandel for Intent
