Women have an understanding that it’s okay to ditch a girls’ night when a guy calls for a date. Please stop this immediately! It isn’t good for you, your friends, or your love life. Five reasons below:
1. It doesn’t help your self-confidence.
At first glance you may think it does more for your self-confidence to go on a date than to go out with your gal pals. This isn’t necessarily true, especially if you have to cancel plans with the girls to go on that date. When you cancel previous plans to go out with a guy, subconsciously you are building this guy up to be way more important than what he actually is. You are already putting him first in your life. This sets you up for MAJOR disappointment if the date doesn’t go well. Nothing can build up self-esteem like going out with the friends that love you and know you best. You get to be comfortable and act like yourself. Go out with the girls having double confidence that you are a hot commodity!
2. If a guy calls midweek you probably weren’t his first choice for Friday night.
Never, and I mean NEVER, cancel plans with your girls when a guy calls you Wednesday or after. You may feel “special” that he called, but you have to wonder why he waited so late to call. His plans probably got cancelled or he was waiting until the last minute to see if something better came up. Even if he had no previous plans, it lets him know you have a life. It also sets boundaries with him so that he will know in the future he needs to plan ahead.
3. You need balance.
Women set themselves up for falling apart when a relationship ends by not giving enough attention to all the areas of their life. Continue going out with friends, family, and co-workers and keep your other habits up such as going to the gym or yoga. If it doesn’t work out with the guy you will have plenty of other areas in your life to fall back on. Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket. Even if the relationship does work out, when the honeymoon phase is over, chances are you will wish you still had those outlets.
4. Your dating relationship will be better.
Men respect women who have their own lives. Men typically don’t like “clingy” women. If you decline his offer because you have plans with the girls, it sends him a signal that you are strong and confident. He will also know you will be just fine if he wants a guys’ night every once in a while. Major bonus!
5. The girls will be disappointed you aren’t there.
Even if your friends typically encourage you to ditch them for a guy (most girls do), they will miss you. You will also miss out on all the laughs and good conversation. Also, if you make it a habit of cancelling you will become out of the loop and may not get invited anymore.
So what should you do if it’s a guy you really like and want to go out with? Politely explain you already have plans with your girlfriends while acting excited he called. Go ahead and ask what other night would be good for him so that he knows you are interested (you don’t want to hurt his ego). If he likes you enough he will want to reschedule. If he doesn’t then he isn’t the guy for you. If you don’t mean enough to him to reschedule then he definitely isn’t worth cancelling on the girls!
