I am not the “other woman” I am “another woman.” How do these two differ you ask? Well, if I were the other woman, the guy I were “dating” would be in a committed, monogamous relationship with a woman and I’d be the one he were hiding and sneaking around with. But that is not the case at all. He is not in a committed relationship. He does not have a girlfriend. He just happens to be in a non-committal, non-monogamous, relationship with me and another woman. The kicker is me and the other woman know each other. Her and I are not friends at all. We don’t travel in the same circles. Oddly enough he is the one who introduced us to each other. Yes, I know what you are thinking right now. “What! This girl is crazy, off her rocker to be in this situation!” But please before you judge let me explain how this situation came about.
I meet this guy on my ultimate Frisbee team. There was an immediate connection. It took two days before we were all up in each other’s lives. Meeting each other’s friends, hanging out, doing all kinds of fun things together. We had a pretty easy going three months there. We fit into each other’s lives pretty nicely. He made me feel like a princess. The way he looked at me. Talked to me. Treated me. Went out of his way to make me feel special. All the ways I wanted to be treated. I was pretty much long gone.
Well I guess he saw that I was getting a bit too attached so we had “the talk.” He informed me he did not want a girlfriend at this time but was absolutely crazy about me and wanted to keep seeing me on the same casual basis we had been. He told me he couldn’t imagine being without me but just wasn’t ready for a committed relationship. Now of course what I heard was, “I am not ready now but YOU will be the one to change me”. So I hung in there, being all light and breezy. Not too available but not unavailable either.
Another three months went by and at every turn he kept trying to pound into my head he was not ready for a girlfriend but he wanted to be with me. And then we had “the talk part two.” He sat me down to tell me he was not only seeing me but another woman. He wanted to make it very clear he was not committed to her anymore than he was to me. And that there was only her and no other. But he would totally understand if I no longer wanted to be with him.
Okay girls, this is when I should have run for the hills, right? But no. What I heard was, “I am seeing another woman NOW but you will be the one I ultimately end up with.” So I continued on.
I had tried to call it quits a couple times but with very little coaxing from him I would go back. A year had gone by and I was pretty much become fine with it for the most part because when we were together he always treated me like I was the only one. Still making me feel like a princess. Until the day I ran into him and her at a bar. He had his arm around her waste. When he saw me he removed his arm with ease but quickly. The fact that I ran into them was not the worse part. The worse part was I actually meet this girl. He introduced us.
I met her almost a year ago at one of our ultimate Frisbee games. He must have invited her to watch. I didn’t think anything of it when he introduced us after the game. I had been in a committed, long term relationship before this and my ex-boyfriend had tons of girls as friends so it didn’t bother me at all that she was at our game. He introduced us both to each other as his friend. He walked her to her car while I stayed behind talking to our team mates. I still didn’t think anything of it because he and I came together and left together so I thought he was just saying goodbye to a “friend.” She made an appearance at a few other of our games as well and I even had a conversation with her once. Go figure she was nice. She had seen he and I on a number of occasions walk away hand in hand so I can not say what she knew about me.
