First dates can be difficult. You’re worried about the way you look, what to say and whether or not your date is enjoying your conversation. You’re also trying to decide if you like the other person enough to go out with them again.
Then, somewhere between the salad and main course, you realize that you have several things in common. You play tennis, enjoy watching classic movies, and agree that climbing rock formations in Sedona is the idea of a perfect vacation.
This is fate you think to yourself as you lean in closer, excited that the person sitting across from you could be your soul mate. As a Christian, you’re also concerned about your date’s relationship with God and how this factors into their life. Knowing the degree of a person’s faith may help determine if the partnership will survive a second date or, ultimately, if it has long-term potential.
Studies show that the best topics for cooling the mood before the heat has had a chance to kick in include money, politics, and religion. Opinions are strong and arguments could arise because you don’t have the advantage of knowing the person well enough to understand his or her perspective. Additionally, first dates don’t generally afford one the luxury of time to work through these topics. Religion will inevitably be a part of the discussion if you’re heading down the aisle, but is a first date the appropriate place to discuss it?
If you absolutely must know whether your suitor is a church going crusader or a holiday-only holy one, here are five strategies that may help raise the topic without sounding as if you’re giving them an interview:
Holidays honor God during this time, even if they don’t practice the rest of the year. Maybe you’ll discover that your date hides under the covers while everyone’s at Mass. If you’re looking for a partner with faith, this could be a deal-breaker.
Childhood: A person’s upbringing will reveal a lot about his or her values if you listen carefully. Find out if religion was part of their life by asking where they grew up and what it was like. It may be a natural transition to a discussion about Sunday catechism class, bible school or any of the sacraments. Don’t pry into it, just let it happen naturally.
