Delilah and I made our way to the St. Patty’s Day Volleyball Tournament early that Saturday. I can’t help it, I was nervous. So much so that my stomach was churning and I had to ask her to pull over three times on the way there, embarrassing, but true. I can’t really explain why I was so nervous, just that I had this horrible fear of making a fool of myself on my re-entry into the world after breakup. I’d not played volleyball since middle school P.E. and I really wanted to make a good impression on these new people that I was going to be meeting.
In between our numerous stops, Delilah assured me that all levels of players were going to be there and that I was worrying too much.
“Why are you so nervous? There is really no reason for you to be. People will be drinking anyway. You worry too much,” Delilah assured me.
“I don’t know why I am so nervous. I just am. I feel like I keep reintroducing myself ‘into the wild,’ and every time it’s a little more nerve wracking than the last,” I said slumping down in my seat.
“You think too much,” Delilah said laughing.
“I know,” I grumbled pitifully.
We pulled up to a large covered area, I expected to see picnic tables, but instead it was a football sized sand pit. A part of the area looked like it was set up for dirt bikes, while a corner had six volleyball nets with people practicing, wandering around, and sitting in fold up chairs on the edges of the sand courts. Even from a distance I could tell that the people practicing were good, I mean REALLY good, way better than middle school P.E.
“Delilah, I think I have to go to the bathroom again.”
“Just stop, Mindy, you’re being crazy—and honestly—you need to just be your normal confident self. I know Aaron took your self-confidence on a trip. He’s a jackass, everyone thought so and you’re better off without him. Now, all you have to do is have fun and enjoy all the hotties.”
At this point Delilah said, shifting in her seat and looking nervous, and then she continued, “This is going to sound weird, and a little crazy of me, I know, but please—today—don’t flirt with Seth. It’s just, I know that I am not ready to jump into anything, and … I mean … nothing is going on with Seth, it’s just … well; don’t flirt with him … or anything.”
“Who is Seth?” I asked curiously. Delilah had just recently broken up with her live-in boyfriend of two years—a great guy—and to be perfectly honest—we were all shocked to hear of their break-up. The only complaint she had ever had was that he hadn’t, after two years, said that he loved her. I understood how this could illicit insecurities, but they were, or seemed, perfect together. Now that Delilah was bringing up this Seth guy, the pieces that hadn’t made sense months ago fell into place.
“We call him the body,” she said, “he’s over there in the orange shirt, warming up,” she inclined her head to the closest volleyball net to where we had parked our car. I hear an audible sigh from her as I narrowed my eyes and tried to figure out what hold this guy had over her. Seth, from a distance, was clearly tall and thin, I wouldn’t call him ‘the body’, and from a distance I didn’t see anything striking. To each their own though. The guy he was warming up with though, I smiled and thought man candy as I asked Delilah who he was.
“Oh, I think that’s Jason. He’s a nice guy. I will introduce you. Come on. We need to register.”
Jason, I thought. He looked very tasty. I slapped myself in the forehead. What in the hell was wrong with me? I gazed out at Jason again, but he was a beautiful man. From the car I could see he had a big white smile, hair that was a week past a trim and curling outside of his green baseball hat.
