The Many Contradictions of Puerto Vallarta

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Now, I’m a red-blooded American male. In certain situations, I might be willing to listen to arguments that Hooters itself is paradise. But not here. Not now. Not in the middle of the “Romantic Zone,” two hundred yards from the Virgin Guadalupe‘s cathedral, in the village of Puerto Vallarta, in the state of Jalisco, in the nation of Mexico. Our visions of salsa and tango were eclipsed, and in their place we could see the insidious bumping and grinding of drunken college kids.

And then as quickly as it had appeared, the nightmare faded. We found ourselves on the streets running parallel to El Malecon, amidst restaurants of all styles and art galleries filled with daring and intriguing work. We walked past gift shops filled with regional crafts, scrawling down names and addresses so we could return the next day. Struck by that overwhelming desire for food brought on by a few sunset margaritas, we continued up the hill, eventually passing out of this suddenly discovered art district. It seemed as if we had been transported from Mexico to Myrtle Beach, and then to Chelsea, and then to Mexico once more. We were diving through wave after wave of varying culture, having to travel no further than a block or two for something new.

We followed our well-penned directions around the places where the road curved and seemed about to disappear. We passed by apartments and said buenos noches, to the men sitting just outside their front doors, fanning themselves, and watching Chivas Guadalajara’s football match (yes, I call it football, not soccer—I’m pretentious about my footie.) We watched young girls walk arm in arm with young boys in the nighttime heat, moving slowly, but speaking with that teenage urgency. Suddenly, I wanted to buy an apartment, to stay and live in Puerto Vallarta and learn how to navigate it, discover which parts of its culture were theirs and which parts a reflection of my own. It was too tall a task for a four-day vacation, but the import of this desire was that I was falling in love with P.V., contradictions and all.

Puerto Vallarta has so much to offer, not the least of which are sunshine and sea air. But its most enduring gift is the vision you have of what it once must have been. If you’re considering a trip to Mexico, and you should be, Puerto Vallarta is a wonderful entry point, alluring, and safe, with a Sam’s Club if you need it. But I’m certain, that as you return home, you will crave a deep, true Mexican experience. So book your trip to P.V. and enjoy your first taste of our neighbor to the south. Then go sign up for those Spanish classes and get yourself ready for next year.