Dear 4-Way,
This is such an embarrassing question, but I really feel I need some advice from both men and women, so here goes.
I have a little bit of a bad smell problem in my feminine area. I wash every day; I have what I consider to be good hygienic habits. But I’ve been dating a guy for about four months now, and he’s just begun (very sweetly, I might add) suggesting we shower together before sex as “foreplay,” or conveniently suggesting we have some fun after I take a bath or shower.
I thought guys were sometimes “into” the way a woman smells—is that not true? What’s the boundary between normal smell and the smell that turns a guy off? Should I ask my boyfriend if it’s bothering him or just not bring it up at all? And is there anything I can do besides the regular washing every day to help alleviate my problem? Thanks for any advice—the last thing I want to do is ask anyone I know about this.—HH, Chicago, Illinois
The gay man’s perspective: Darren Maddox
Are you seriously asking me this question? Here’s what I would think you should do. Go to the lady doctor first and tell her you need some air freshener for downstairs. There’s got to be a spray or a salve or something you can slather on to tackle this problem. Does Glade make something? Can you try to Febreze it?
What are you eating these days, anyway? With guys, a lot of smells come from their diets. For example, garlic and asparagus are suggested foods to avoid prior to Lovefest ’07.
As for the boyfriend, kudos to him. If you know he’s trying to tell you something, yet he’s tactful enough to figure out how to do it without throwing it out there too bluntly, he’s quality.
I don’t know if all women struggle with this, maybe they do. But as for men being “into” the way a woman smells, I can honestly say I have never heard anyone say that it turns them on when it smells. I think you’re headed in the wrong direction if you think it’s a turn-on. I trust others in the 4-Way will have more productive advice than I do on this one.
