June is here and so is summer. It’s the season of peaches and plums and the season when your own life’s sowing begins to bear fruit. Will the first month of summer be one of bounty? Failed crops? Or a lovely, slightly chilled rose? The Gemini twins rule the roost, so expect a little Bumble and Bumble meets Jo Malone—it all smells good, but you should only put one of them in your hair.
Gemini
This is your month to embrace your double-sided nature. Go for that big prize in those khaki shorts, but open a savings account while you’re at it. Your friends will tell you you’re crazy, but that’s why they love you. The only thing you have to fear is an emotionally unavailable man and complex carbohydrates, not necessarily in that order.
Cancer
It’s the time for weddings and your “lock ’em in and don’t let ’em go” nature is fine with that. The season’s nuptials are calling for you to enact your own version of The Wedding Crashers. Accept every invitation, even from the people you don’t like. Tart it up a bit and the world is your oyster. The month’s birthstone is pearl after all. Just don’t leave your phone number. This summer, it’s all about forgetting.
Leo
Your family will give you strength as long as you don’t loan any of them money or agree to let them borrow your car. Ask them to feed you for a change; matzoh balls and pickled herring would be best. If you find there is nowhere to run, walk. Life for Leo is less languid and more licorice, sweet and chewy. Eat it up.
Virgo
These are the longest days of the year, so go solar. The sun is calling you to embrace the outdoors, go kite boarding, or sit under a tree thinking, “Whew, I’m glad I’m out of the sun.” Plan a picnic because you know you look good on a gingham sheet. Set up a margarita stand and sell paper cups for fifty cents. Finally, squirt that lemon juice in your hair. It’s OK to be the center of attention as long as you look fabulous.
Libra
If trouble comes knocking, answer the door. Or go knock on trouble’s door. Your gentle nature is ready for some rough and tumble adventure. Wrap your legs around that Harley you bought with your last bit of credit and head up the coast. Sell all your old sex toys at a garage sale, record people’s reactions, and post them on You Tube. Eat a corndog at the state fair and compost the stick. It’s a new world.
Scorpio
Roses are growing all month long and it’s your job to clip them. Take those roses into your home to manifest what you want from the world—a new car, a new home, Zac Efron being straight and your age. Pool boys and bell men will be open to you so keep your eyes wide and go stay in hotels, preferably ones with pools.
Sagittarius
Relationships are beginning and ending this month so beware the snail mail letter, the one not addressed to you in unfamiliar handwriting. Do not open it. Pour yourself a glass of wine instead. Listen to your cat purr. Ask yourself why you ever thought ankle boots were a good idea. Steer clear of your assumptions and take life for what it is, a morass of misunderstandings and gossip washed down with cheap wine.
Capricorn
Still can’t find anything to watch since the end of The Sopranos? Try The Real Housewives of New Jersey, or try your own reality series called Your Life. Get out there and take that salsa class with that instructor who looks like that guy that used to get Madonna into shape, brush up on your mini golf game, or go crash a wedding with your Cancer friend. It’s all good this month.
