Aquarius
Although you might feel as if you’re stuck in a swamp of molasses in your search for your lost king, always remember that there’s a rainbow waiting for you on your noble quest. That is, unless you swallowed all the sweeties you met, leaving yourself rotten and toothless and destined for eternal loneliness.
Pisces
In order to find true happiness, you need to reshape your body into a perfect temple. Start by using your hand-eye coordination to get rid of your broken heart. All that takes is a steady hand and a pair of tweezers. Please note: removing your Adam’s apple will require a much bigger surgery and countless years of counseling.
Answer Key:
Aries = Monopoly
Taurus = Clue
Gemini = Twister
Cancer = Scrabble
Leo = Life
Virgo = Pictionary
Libra = Apples to Apples
Scorpio = Taboo
Sagittarius = Balderdash
Capricorn = Trivial Pursuit
Aquarius = Candy Land
Pisces = Operation
Read last month’s Visiting Visionary.
The Visiting Visionary is a monthly column written by a different guest horoscopist each month. We’ll focus on a new topic every month so that our Visionary can foretell how it will affect each sign.
Steve Tornello is an associate creative director at AKQA, a digital advertising agency. He works on Xbox and Nike Basketball, two brands that traditionally don’t talk to women. He contributes to DivineCaroline sporadically to hone his craft for an audience that has traditionally spurned him. After reading his contributions, you’ll understand why. Follow him @steveohville or visit steveohville.com.
