They say everyone has a book in them. Some authors just know that their life stories would make an interesting book even though some of their life experiences are hard to write about.
Such is the case of Irene Watson, author of the new book, The Sitting Swing: Finding Wisdom to Know the Difference. I love memoirs and Irene doesn’t disappoint. We interviewed her to find out if reliving your past causes more heartache or heals old wounds. Her answer will surprise you.
Q. Thank you for this interview, Irene. Your book, The Sitting Swing, is the story of your childhood. Since some of our readers have not read your book, can you tell us briefly what it is about and why you decided to write it?
A. My pretentious life could go no further until I faced my past head on! My memoir begins at the end, in a recovery center, where I had gone to understand a childhood fraught with abuse, guilt and uncertainty. My story is a testament that it’s never too late to change your life, never too late to heal.
This book is more than a story of my childhood. That’s only part of it. The Sitting Swing: Finding Wisdom to Know the Difference shows us how guilt, fear, and ignorance are borne by our children. Two distinct parts of the book look at an abusive child rearing and the process of recovery that takes place years later. On many levels this is a classic story showing change, growth, forgiveness, and recovery are possible. It is also a story and a testament to the strength and courage of the human spirit. In the end it gives hope and freedom to those that accept the past and move forward by rewriting life scripts that have been passed down for generations.
Q. When you were writing this book, thus opening up old wounds, did you find it hard to stay focused? What was the driving force to keep you going?
A. Yes, and no. Yes, sometimes I wanted to wallow in the past, stay a victim, and continue to have the mindset of “look what they did to me” or “how can I forgive, they “this” or they “that.” However, reliving the past can heal old wounds if we truly want to be healed. Looking at our past experiences gives us the opportunity to create a better life for ourselves. I knew that, so I would bring myself back to focus.
Although I relived the past in the recovery center, I had the opportunity to look at it again when writing the book. The opportunity was to look again what was still messing me up—the memory of the situation or experience I had. Those are root causes of the symptom/reaction that often manifest as unhappiness and fear, or it comes in a form of addiction. They came up for me—again. I knew I hadn’t totally accepted the past and I still had work to do. So writing this book gave me that opportunity! By accepting the experience, even as bad as it was, is very healing. Not accepting it is denial and will continue to harp on you—which it still did in some areas. I didn’t realize it until I was writing about some of the experiences. That was quite an awakening!
Again, I had to look at it this way: I did have that bad experience, but I need to make the decision that it no longer has control over my life. Again, I needed to take the responsibility of my own life and move forward. However, I must add, it didn’t happen overnight. This is something I had to make up my mind to do and gradually transform my life.
I was bound and determined to finish my book, but, before I could do that I had to have more healing in my life. So, that was my driving force! I really had to “walk the talk myself” before I could encourage anyone else to do the same.
Q. It’s a voyage of self-discovery, don’t you think?
A. Oh yes! (Laughs) If we choose to take this journey, it ends up being quite a trip. However, like all good trips, the results are fantastic. I love my freedom. I always laugh and say: Been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt! Don’t need another t-shirt of the trip!
Q. You started a blog called Rewriting Life Scripts. Can you tell us more about this and where people can find it on the web?
A. As part of my healing I was able to re-write the life scripts that have been passed down in my family for generations. We tend to learn from our parents and generations before them on how to behave, how to feel, how to live our lives. However, in order to have a happy life, that doesn’t work. We need to find our own way to feel and live our lives.
In my blog, I write about life and how to understand what is going on within us and why. Understanding is important for us to move forward.
I also have a Web site. This is where I have information about my book and about me.
Q. In what way has your life changed since the publication of this book? What have your critics said about it?
A. Since I originally published my book much has happened. I still had issues to work on and I did. Even though I did a lot of processing while writing my book, it ended up like peeling an onion. You take one layer off, and then there is another one. However, as we know, eventually there is a core. That’s the ultimate place to me—in the center. Most days I’m there, some days I’m not.
Since this is the second edition of The Sitting Swing, we made some major changes. Although the story is the same, we tightened it up a bit, looked after some major editing issues, and added some context. We also gave it a subtitle: Finding Wisdom to Know the Difference.
In my afterword I say this: Over time and with committed work on myself, not only were many defects removed, but I found my spiritual side. Life became less complicated because my new life abetted further change. The major change is forgiveness. This therapeutic potential negated resentment, impatience, and hostility. The forgiveness process led to integrating spiritual themes as part of my approach to conquer my dysfunctional behavior. I took responsibility for my life, and I forged ahead in the process of loving and taking care of myself. I had an understanding of myself now that allowed me to forgive myself for the resentment I had toward my parents. I realized I had to divorce myself from them, and it was okay to do so. I have my own life to live, and I must take care of me. However, this divorce didn’t mean I was completely detached from them. They are still my parents and I still communicate with them, but now it’s on a different level. Their thoughts, behaviors, and actions don’t control my life anymore.
That’s the bottom line to healing oneself.
Critics? Comments about my book have been very favorable. Many have told me they’ve read it several times, some as many as 6 times. I have a lot of information in the book—the “why” and “how come.” It’s not only a memoir, but it’s also very much a self-help book. It really touches the body/mind/spirit on all levels. The only unfavorable comments I’ve had are from relatives in denial. A cousin didn’t believe my story—of course, she only saw the outside world of our family.
Q. Can you tell us where we may pick up a copy?
A. Yes, of course! The book is available through my website. If ordered through my site, I pay the shipping as well as autograph it. It’s also available through mainstream bookstores as well as online sellers.
Q. Thank you for this interview, Irene. Any final words?
A. It is never, ever, ever, ever, too late to re-write your life script. It is never too late to change your life, never too late to heal.