I have an apartment the size of most people’s bathrooms. My income stream is not terribly large, and often unsteady. I haven’t had a relationship which lasted longer than six months in the last two and a half years. And people who have never met me feel obligated to write unfavorable things about my personality, appearance, and life choices.
But I’m happy. Because I don’t think about things that way. I think about them like this:
Yes, I have an apartment the size of most people’s bathrooms—but it’s new and it’s clean and it’s safe and it’s comfortable and I’ve decorated it exactly the way I like it and it’s all mine.
Yes, my income stream is not terribly large—but it’s enough to live on, in one of the most expensive cities in the U.S. And I made it myself; after three years of earning under poverty level wages, I feel very, very rich indeed. No, I don’t have a 401k, but I do have enough for food and shelter and a comfortable bed in which to experience insomnia. What more is there?
Yes, I haven’t had a relationship which lasted more than six months in the last two and a half years, but that’s exactly what I wanted/needed! I wanted to discover what it was like to date all sorts of men—yes, even jerks (check, check, check)—and live as an independent adult without a boyfriend or husband as a crutch. While I haven’t loved every moment (I’ve certainly cried my share of tears), I don’t regret for one second this period of being single. I’ve had a series of incredibly rewarding, enriching experiences in my dating life, experiences which aren’t belittled by the length of time, some of which have turned out to be the most formative experiences in my adult life. I also believe there is no such thing as a “failed” relationship, that you learn something new from each person who comes into your life. I have a far greater understanding of who I am, and what traits I want in a partner, not to mention, an exponentially greater appreciation for the “good guys.” And yes, when the right Good Guy does come along, I’ll be ready for him, unlike the way I felt when I was twenty-five …
