Friend
1 A friend and I hitch-hiked across Europe last summer;
Acquaintance, comrade, companion, chum, confidant; partner, buddy, pal, crony, mate, playmate, playfellow; consort; bedfellow, intimate; boy-friend, girl-friend, escort, beau, lover, mistress, favourite, paramour.
I think one of the most unfortunate use of the word friendship is when people use this word as some sort of righteous ally. They use it to completely pick the other person to bits. It’s like a person is a puzzle and once they are in bits on the floor and they are able to scrutinize them. They then think they understand you. Only then once they’ve chosen the bits they like or dislike will they accept what they think you are. I have a friend who actually said to me “I like to ask lots of questions and remember everything because then when you’re in an argument you can use it against them….!” Ouch is all I can say to them. I don’t dislike them, but if that’s at the core of them then why does this person not understand why I’m not content to live in their pocket. Another friend said to me after I had told her in gentle terms that it didn’t serve her to attack the people who show caring for her with the comment “I don’t understand why I always attack the people I care about the most” I sat there perplexed and after some long and hard thinking decided to leave that friendship behind.
I use to think it was my role as a friend to point these failings out, but realized fortunately that some people don’t like this and, are more likely to attack you. In self defence probably, they may see your observation as a judgement. I don’t know about others, but I learned to give people space to find themselves I’m probably not liked for it. As I imagine some people see this as being abandoned, but I’ve never been good as a whipping post, it hurts ;)
I realised that these two people I mentioned previously see nothing wrong with these truths of theirs. They think it’s usual. Well multiply that by a couple of million people and you have friendship that feels and smells like entrapment to me. Now I can’t change the world and I do indeed love human kind but we do leave me slightly confused.
