My Friend “Divorced” Me

I had to dig into my past to find things but I figured at least I was part of the conversation now. As they say, “If you can’t beat them, join them”. Who came up with this nonsense? For me this was the beginning of the end. I should have watched my tongue and set some boundaries. The Bible says: The power of life and death are in the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it (Proverbs 18:21).

Not too long after I joined her in this “us against the world” dialogue, Sandy, my new precious friend, turned on me in a way that struck my heart and confused my intellect. To me, she became just like “those” people that she was complaining about. I knew something was odd when her chattering turned to one word answers when asked a question. Her tone of voice went from sincerity to politely robotic. Nasty-toned emails soon followed. What happened?!!!

This apparent sever of our friendship made me feel like it was my fault. After days of trying to figure out this whole ordeal I called her and asked her if anything was wrong because her voice sounded strange lately. She assured me, “nothing is wrong. I would be honest and tell you if there were. You must have something you’re dealing with and you think it’s me.” My mouth dropped, but I dare not say anything in case my perception was twisted in some way. Not one to be deterred, I wanted to set this friendship right. I called the next week and asked if I could stop by to say hi one morning (when I was in her part of the neighborhood). Silence, then an excuse from her end. I cried as soon as I got off the phone. We were no longer speaking on the phone. I finally cut the cord. Haven’t been in contact since. When I shared this story with a friend of mine, she said, “Oh! She divorced you.” I had never heard that word used in terms of friendships, but I thought it described my experience to a T.

There are many questions that go through my head. This was a person I thought I was going to joyfully have as part of the rest of my life. And now...nothing. I know I’m no saint, but she really did leave me in the dust as to what all of this was about. How do I deal with this emptiness? The only thing I know to do is to get down on my knees and ask God for His peace, which surpasses all understanding, and pray for God to bless Sandy and her family. Though I don’t understand what happened, I figure God knows what’s in her heart and I leave it at that.