Hurting, Part 1

By: Red One (View Profile)

Wow, what a couple of weeks it has been for me. I have been reaching out to people that I don’t really know and becoming successful at it. I have been hurting for quite awhile now and it just isn’t easy for me right now. I feel like my life is a roller coaster. I have been trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I am now beginning to understand that while I am in my 30’s, my inner child is not. I feel like I am not wanted or loved. It has caused me to hurt. I feel like I am all alone. I am a Christian and I do go to church on a regular basis. I am in a small group, but things are just not feeling right. I want to go to God with what is hurting me but I am struggling with that. I don’t see how God could love a woman like me, with everything that I have done and been through. I have also been prayed for, but again, I don’t see how God could love me. One more thing, I am an abuse survivor.

I hurt. My heart feels like it is broken. Every time I let people become close to me, I end up pushing them away, which is happening now. I have already said this, but what is wrong with me...How do I heal my inner child, a question that I am now asking myself. So much so, that it has brought me to tears of how my inner child feels.

What can I do...Where do I go....Do I share how I feel with the women in my small group???? These are all questions I am now asking myself.

 

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posted: 08.08.2007
Groundhogrd
I feel a connection.......One month to the day a female friendship ended.........we had an argument...BOTH saying very hurtful things to one another...........I felt intense guilt..apologized and nothing.................silence from her........Now my friend is in her 30's and was abused as a child also....she even tried to hurt herself at that time........She does what you do..........when people get close she pushes them away........please can you tell me why you do that? I am trying to understand...........are you afraid? Do you feel "bad" about yourself?.......My friend was also Christian (Born Again)........You are not alone.........Have you drawn on your faith? .........talked to counselors etc?
posted: 08.03.2007
Catrina Montgomery
Allow God to lead your steps; doors will open up for you that YOU never expected to ever open. He will place individuals in your life that are sent to YOU from HIM~GOD. Allow Him, Talk to Him, call His name and be honest with Him about what you need, want, have done, will do and Thank Him, for allowing you to go through things; because once you snap out, get out and recover from the pain YOU have caused yourself and the pain other have caused you; you will be POWERFUL AND RADICAL. I know I said I wasnt going to say anything; as my sister girlfriends say to me. YOU ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. Yes, I do. Before I go let me tell you this story (oh yea I always have stories too :) ): I wanted to obtain a position within the Medical Field for 14 years, I could never do it. I was going through a divorce, I was questioning God WHO AM I? WHY AM I HERE? 14 years later. I got the breakthrough I have been praying for. It's not YOUR timing; it's GOD's timing. Repair, Heal and Replace
posted: 08.03.2007
Catrina Montgomery
In addition to my last email: For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we may boldly say: "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?" Hebrews 13:5-6 For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.1 John 3:20 If God is for us; who can be against us-Red One God loves you internally, He is not concerned with what you used to do, used to say or how you onced dressed. How did you get out of it? How are you getting through it? You know something I always pray about is for God to remove ANYTHING whether that means people, places, things or feelings I have placed in my own life. Ask God to start removing anything in your life that YOU have placed in YOUR life that is not of God. He is a revealer and he will remove. He does answer prays. He has for me and He will for you. He knows better than us. If you are like me; I am sure you mess everything up, but I know someone who will not~GOD. page2
posted: 08.03.2007
Catrina Montgomery
Thank you Red One for sharing your heart with us. I can tell you are in need HELP; not from myself or others, but from God. So I am not going to say anything but this; I am going to give you some bible versus to read: Let my mouth be filled with Your praise And with Your glory all the day. Psalm 71:8; Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday. Psalm 37:5-6; Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Red One-this includes evil words against yourself James 3:10; He does not retain His anger forever, Because He delights in mercy. Red One He is a forgiving God, He loves you more than you love yourself. Micah 7:18; Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face evermore! Psalm 105:4; Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, Mark 11:24.
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