Controling Claire tries to tell you how to think or what to feel. If you don’t do it her way, watch out. She’ll quickly point out the error of your ways with her knobby pointy finger. Some Claires react positively when you say, “Well, that might be the way you do it, but I prefer to do it this way.” It stops her in her tracks. Others will be your “I told you so” for the rest of your life if you let them. Her alter ego is Judge Judy below. Bow out gracefully.
Negative Nora might have a fierce intellect and grand sense of humor, but watch out for her chronic negativity, utter kvetching (we all complain, but then there are the “constant complainers”), and whiny rants against everyone and everything. It’s her (and you) against the world. At first the laughs can be entertaining (hell, nihilists can be funny), but then it all becomes depressing. Are the laughs really worth it? If you have to ask, ditch the downer.
Grandstanding Gabriel is complicated for the very reason that she is a chameleon. She is great one on one: bright, funny, sensitive, great listener, and fun to be with. Get her in a group setting and she suddenly becomes a super-competitive monster who is trying to be the center of attention—an aggressive, boasting grandstander. Your friends wonder why you became friends with her. You’re beginning to wonder yourself; it’s Ms. Jeckyl and Ms. Hide. You can’t change Gabriel. If you care for her, explain how you think her behavior changes around others. For the friendship to continue you may need to tolerate the boasting and grandstanding though.
Busy Busy Betsy is in her own world at best; at worst, she is a promise breaker who chronically disappoints you. Example: she chronically ignores you when she starts a new romantic relationship, claiming to be “sooo busy.” Not all Betsys are alike. For example, some Betsys truly do care, but are going through something at the moment or just entered a different phase of their lives which truly makes them busy. She just needs time. Be patient. We’ve all been a Betsy. At some point, tell her that you’re disappointed that she has cancelled again. Give her some chances. If she continues to break her promises, let things cool. If she chronically disappoints you over a long period of time, ask yourself whether you’re willing to stick it out any longer. If it hurts too much, end it.
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