You Asked: Will We Ever Be Friends Again?

Dear Sugar,
My best friend and I had a huge falling out over my birthday when she came back to our hometown. We never spoke again after that night—call it stubborn or call it “out of sight, out of mind,” since she lives in San Diego and I’m in Hawaii. We were both drunk, and I said extremely hurtful things to her, as she did to me. It’s been four months since our argument and I’m devastated. I miss my friend so much. I sent her an apology letter, but I’m afraid she won’t respond or that she is over our friendship altogether. At the risk of sounding dramatic, this relationship means more to me than any male/boyfriend relationship ever has. I feel like my friend is my family and I am heartbroken. What should I do? —Crushed Casey

Dear Crushed Casey,
You do not sound dramatic at all! Fighting with your best friend can feel even worse than fighting with a boyfriend; I’ve been there so I can completely empathize with you. I think you’ve done the right thing by reaching out to her and apologizing. Friends fight, it’s inevitable, but if you let things go too long, sometimes feuds, even unnecessary ones, can take on a life of their own and get completely out of control. So, that being said, you should feel good about stepping up to the plate and making the first move to mend things with her.

I’m not sure how long ago you sent the letter, but even if you know that she’s received it, your friend might just need a little time to digest it and come up with her response. Chances are this is equally as painful for her as it is for you, so try not to assume the worst. If you’re still anxious about it and just can’t seem to let it go, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving her a call to follow up. At the end of the day Casey, all you can do is tell her that you’re sorry and you love and miss her. If she needs more time to let the dust settle, you don’t have a choice but to give it to her, but since she understandably means so much to you, I’d take every measure imaginable to salvage this relationship. Good luck.