A Lover in Disguise?

It was ninth grade when I had my first real boyfriend. We were pretty serious and had been dating for almost a year now. Everyone envied us when we first started out, and how happy and cute we were together. So many people told me how lucky I was that I was in a relationship for that long. I thought they were right, until the fighting began. It was almost February and I was telling my boyfriend how I was going to go on vacation for my birthday. I thought he would say something like, “Wow really! Don’t forget to bring me back a t-shirt! Ha ha.” Or something funny like that, but instead he freaked out, went bizerk, and started accusing me of cheating on him and saying I was going to find someone else and leave him when I was there. I was so scared of what he was going to do. I told my parents I didn’t want to go, of course they said, “No. Your going”.

The next day I had school and I went straight to gym class and avoided my boyfriend. I got changed for gym and left the locker rooms and went into the back of the gym and sat down with my knees pulled into my chest and my kept face hidden. I started to cry a little bit and think why would my boyfriend say something like that to me? Then, my friend Shawn came up to me and asked me what was wrong and why I was crying. I wiped my eyes really fast and told him I was fine. After that day we started talking on the phone a lot. He had a girlfriend at the time but she wasn’t as into him as he was interested in her and he asked me for advice a lot. We talked for hours through text messages and IM’s, everything. I started not caring at all about the fights I’d have with my boyfriend because I’d worry more about Shawn and what was going on with him. One day I told myself with over confidence I’m going to break up with Jake. (my boyfriend)

I called up Jake and said look, I’m sorry, but it’s over. It was painful but I couldn’t stop thinking about Shawn. Everything about him made me so happy. So after I got off the phone with Jake I realized oh my god what did I just do?