The Reunion: Ask the Man Shrink

Dear Man Shrink,

My high school reunion is coming up next spring, and it’s making me crazy even though it’s still eight months away. After reading Rebecca Brown’s article about going to her twentieth high school reunion, I realized that I was having some of the same anxieties.

First, there are the weight issues. Though I’m healthy for my late thirties, I’m about twenty pounds heavier than I was in high school. I have this image of me walking into my reunion and everyone thinking, “Wow. She really let herself go.” The second thing has to do with old friends. After high school, a lot of my high school friendships didn’t end well. Some of them ended with bad blood, others just didn’t seem interested in me anymore. I’m not sure how to handle these people when I see them again. Then there are the old boyfriends. I’m happily married now, but I’m nervous about seeing these guys again, especially with my husband in tow. I don’t want them to do anything that might embarrass me or bring up old stories about us “parking” or something else awkward. I especially don’t want my husband to feel uncomfortable.

Most of all, I’m tired of thinking about it so much. It seems to be taking up too much energy for just one night of seeing old friends. Do you have any advice?—TC, Atlanta, Georgia

Dear TC,

High school reunions make people crazy. A looming high school reunion can strip away all the maturity and self-esteem you’ve amassed in the last twenty years. It snatches you out of your adult life and tosses you back into adolescence. Insecurities you thought were dead and gone resurface like the Loch Ness Monster. This is why people go nuts preparing for an event that lasts only a few hours. They start evaluating themselves as if they were eighteen instead of thirty-eight, sluggish metabolisms be damned!

Instead of trying to fit into your prom dress, look at this as an opportunity for reflection and self-analysis. See, most of us never really “get over” old insecurities; we just forget about them. Things like career, relationships, mortgages, and kids distract us. The pain we felt over not being popular enough, athletic enough, or [insert absurd expectation here] enough goes to sleep like a hibernating bear. Then we get an invitation for a high school reunion and the bear wakes up. In a bitchy mood. Demanding to be fed.