An Interesting Turn of Events

My brother, my brother I grew up with, my brother who is two years older than me, he and I did not have a good relationship as children. He was the one who got all of the attention from my father and uncle in the family. I was the one no one wanted around. I was the one who was beaten repeatedly as well as abused mentally and sexually as well as emotionally. I wanted to be closer to my brother but we were not. I needed someone to protect me and be there for me but he was not. In fact some of the times he was my abuser. I needed someone to help me when my grandmother, grandfather, uncle, and father hurt me but all I got in return was I had to fight him off too. As the saying goes a girl child is not safe on a farm full of men. 

When I was seventeen I moved to the city with my mother whom I love with all of my heart and have been here every since, my brother came a year later and when he did he came with all of the same drama that we grew up with the same wanting to abuse and hurt me but I was older and stronger and wiser so our relationship was still strained. He was still the type to try and hurt me or hit me or walk into the bathroom when I was stepping out of the shower or walk into my room right at the moment when I was getting dressed. The difference was that my mother is nothing like my father and she kept his at bay in fact she refused to let him live with she and I. Over the years I have wanted to forgive and let all of the hurt of my past go and I have done well in the area of healing from all of the abuse I suffered but there was still a hole in my heart where my brother should have been. I know it seems strange to want to have a relationship with someone who hurt but my brother and I were stolen from my mother when he was two and I was eleven months old and as a result he was all that I had and I have always wanted a meaningful relationship with him.