Healing

For my whole life I have been a quiet, keep to myself sort of person. I have been described as reticent; silent, secretive. Always sitting at the edge of the audience, waiting for the party to be over so I can go away from it all. Back to the quiet somewhere, usually home. All of a sudden I’ve wanted to rekindle relationships with friends and family through email and letters, and phone. I’ve realized that I have been denying relationships: ignoring people who want my attention. Like going to the other side of the room when someone is coming toward you, turning your back on someone who’s standing right beside you, looking the other direction/avoiding eye contact; there are so many subtle ways with body language and words to turn people away. People wanted to be friends with me. I said that I was their friend, but I didn’t act like a true friend. I guess I was lazy and scared and wanted to show my superiority and cleverness by pushing people away. What a pity! 

BUT I just saw the movie “Into the Wild” and the message of it is: true happiness is when you’re sharing life with others. That message clicked for me. I’ve been recognizing my mistake of denying relationships/friendships. Now I email and touch base with people, trying to form bonds, to share my happiness. It took me a long time to realize this mistake, I am forty! And now I am having such a great time.

It’s easy. A smile. A sincere listening to someone. Usually when we listen, we end up asking questions; have you noticed that? So, what do you want to know about your friends and family—get asking! Suddenly, you’ll have a true conversation with someone and shared hopes, and dreams, and fears. Like a true friend!

So, have you been pushing people away? If so, forgive yourself because you’ve made a mistake and wasted precious time and go make some connections with your friends and family; they will make you the happiest.