My Parent's Reconciliation Vacation (excerpt from Proverbial Woman), Part VIII

“I can see you are starting to feel uneasy. Well, I’ve been feeling that way for some time now. On the surface I’ve been trying to stay calm for some time now. Here. Reach over and feel my heart,” he motioned as he lifted himself up out of his chair, and leaned inward.

“What do you feel?” he asked.

“I feel an erratic beat…” she replied, placing her hand on his heart.

“Indeed you do. Indeed you do…” he added, embellishing her response. “That is exactly the way I’m feeling. Uncertainty. And that is what I believe you are trying so hard to hide behind those beautiful eyes of yours. You should know by now they speak volumes to me when it comes to your emotions.”

“Why do you say these things while all the time knowing how my heart is going to react? You know exactly what to say, and at what point to say it. I think you get a kick out of reading me the way you do.”

“Do you want me to stop?” he injected.

“No. But it would help if I sometimes had a warning. It is just that you have a way of soothing the pain every time. I don’t know whether to pour out my heart or just ask you what I’m feeling.”

Suddenly realizing where the conversation was heading. As a way of deterring her increasing feeling of anxiety, she aimlessly reached for her drink while nearly spilling it. Sensing anguish growing out her desire to purge her soul, his eyes subtly drew focus on her as she struggled to find the right words to say.

“Tim, I’m so sorry. I’m also hurting behind this. I’m hurting more than you can ever imagine,” she apologetically whispered, anticipating his reaction.

“Well how do you think I feel? What am I to do? I’m beyond hurting. To be truthful, I’m broken-hearted!” he angrily injected. “I came into this marriage with an open mind and heart. I wouldn’t have expected anything like this from you. But then again I guess one never knows what their love ones are capable of. I don’t even know if I’m capable handling this kind of pain.”

“Can I speak,” she interrupted. “Can I at least say what is on mind? Don’t you even want to hear what I’ve been going through?”

“Yes. Go ahead. I’m listening…” he replied in an irritable tone, before taking a sip.

“I really do value what we have.