My Parent's Reconciliation Vacation (excerpt from Proverbial Woman), Part IX

Sensing his urge to revisit his illustration with the candles, before he could add anything further, she subtly injected, “And so can faith. But I guess it is all about believing in your heart that truth never fades. Though sometimes just loses the intensity of its perpetual flame to temporal moments of flickering illuminations.”

After a lingering moment of silence, he abruptly asked, “Why did you leave me?  Why didn’t you hold on? I’m sure we could have worked it out. Do people ever come back from these types of situations?”

Unexpectedly unhinged by his barrage of unnerving questions, she aimlessly found herself emotionally scurrying for words she once longed to confess. Realizing her response could either send the night into a spiraling disaster, or turn a moment of truth into an opportune time of emotional healing. Feeling anxiety once again taking over, she slowly answered.

“I don’t know. I really don’t know,” she replied, staring down at the roses. “Why did I leave? I thought it was for all the right reasons. I felt trapped in a situation I had no control over. One day I woke up and realized I was no longer the Rose Covington I once knew.

I had become someone inside the worlds of three people. I sometimes felt like a fixture trying just to be noticed. I felt alone and afraid. It was like I had become a stranger in my own life. I was beginning to think I was living the life that I would die, a sad and lonely woman.

Then I met him. And I thought I’d found the answer to all my problems. For a while it felt like everything was new again. Everything he did for me made me feel alive. Like the way you used to make me feel…like everything that happened to me was a blessing.
I never meant for it to happen that way. It is just that I’ve been longing for what had been missing between the two of us for quite some time. When he held me for the first time, it was like I’d become a woman again. Like I was fragile…desirable.

But then, after a short while I realized you were not the problem. And nor was he the solution. I was lonely. And I just wanted to feel loved. You know, like it was between us before. I just don’t want to grow old alone. And I don’t want to be with someone for the rest of my life, all while believing I could’ve been happier with someone else.

I know my apologies aren’t enough, but I need you. I need for you to understand I’m only human, and I made a terrible mistake. Can you please forgive me?” she asked, as she lifted her eyes to gauge his response.

“I forgave you when you took my call and agreed to meet me here. I knew we were on our way when I heard the trembling in your voice when we talked on the phone that day. But please understand, in no way is this easy for me. I’m still struggling emotionally with the whole idea of what has happened,” he added in a sobering tone.

“You’re not alone.