My Parent's Reconciliation Vacation (excerpt from Proverbial Woman), Part XVII

How would you go about waking up every morning knowing what you held so dear to your heart had up and walked away? Angels aren’t supposed to break hearts. I’ve never cried myself to sleep so many times as I have over you recently. I needed you. And you weren’t there for me. The girls needed you. We all needed to understand what was happening.

We had built a life together, didn’t we? I thought we were going to watch our grandkids being born together. Take them on vacations… and make it look like it was really for them. I needed to understand Rose. Why?”

“I’m sorry,” she murmured in a fainting voice as tears began streaming from her eyes.

“I’ve lost all sense of pride. And I don’t know where to begin picking up the pieces of my life. I lost the poetry of it. Somewhere between exchanging vows and kissing you before leaving to go to work, it all disappeared. I miss my family. I miss the joy we shared when we were starting off our lives together.”

“I miss it too,” she whimpered, wiping the tears from her eyes as they fell uncontrollably. “I miss my daughters. They don’t look at me the way they used to. I can see the hurt in their eyes. Our conversations are not like they used be. Nothing feels the same.

God, if only I could undo what I’ve done. I would do it without question. I can never get back what we once shared as mother and daughters. Do you know how much that means to me?” she cried out in a hysterical tone. “I really messed things up.”

“What am I to do now? All I have is what we’ve built together. And look at it now.” he implied, indicating his contemplation of divorce.

“Tim, please…” once again crying out hysterically. “You said we were going to get through this together. I’m begging you. Please, don’t walk away from what we have,” this time pleading to him as she cried uncontrollably. “I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry for what I’ve done. Please, can you forgive me?”

“How would you feel? Tell me! How would you feel if I told you I was leaving you for another woman? How would you handle it if the man you spent the last eight- to nineteen years with suddenly told you he was leaving you to be with someone else? And then suddenly he had a change of heart. And decided he wanted to come back, expecting everything to be okay?”

With tears streaming down from her eyes, she replied, “I would feel like my world had been turned upside down. Like I was being used, taken advantaged of. Emotionally violated. But I guess you think its okay when men do things like this.

We women find ways to forgive you. We learn to hide the scars from our pain in our hearts, and we move on. But when a woman does something like this, she is immediately thrown away. There is no redemption for her. Not even forgiveness.

I know I had no right to do what I done to you.