My Parent's Reconciliation Vacation (excerpt from Proverbial Woman), Part XVIII

“No. It really isn’t.” he replied, as he glanced aimlessly around the room. “My heart says one thing, and my mind says another. My soul… it feels a pain that I can’t even begin to understand. Why is it that the most sensible answers to life choices contradict what the heart truly feels? If I walk away today, would this single act of betrayal really matter when I’m old and alone? How can my heart forgive you when the memories are replaying over and over again in my mind. How could my love contend with that?”

“Every day for the rest of our lives I will do everything I can to help you forget. And I will show you how sorry I am in every thing I will do for this marriage. I need you. And I will show you how much I appreciate you every day. And how much you are needed in my life. Please, just give me another chance. Give what we have together another chance.” She pleaded.

Covering herself as she sat up and moved in closer toward him. Leaning inward, she passionately kissed him. Responding to her advance, he tenderly closed his eyes as they slowly descended upon the bed and embraced one another in a moment of unbridled affection. Realizing what has transpired as beyond their control, they are forced to see her act of betrayal as a means to enrich their union.

Their love has taken on a transformation into a kinder place. A state beyond what we define as happiness. A place of solace, where in spite of all of our imperfections, our inherent abilities to make mistakes, and our drive to know true love, exist possibilities through forgiveness and unconditional giving.

The emotionally charged evening had dwindled into early morning hours as cooling air from subsiding waves swept in through the balcony doors. Lying on the bed with their feet hanging over its edge, while staring into one another’s eyes, he gently whispered, “Its getting close to sunrise, would you like to step out unto the balcony and watch it come up over the ocean?”

“Yes, I would like that. I’ll put my robe on?” she replied.

“That’s fine. Here… Give me a minute to take care of a few things,” he replied, passing it to her as he got up and moved over toward the bathroom.

Rushing back into the bedroom with the champagne and flutes in his hands, out of the emergence of the moment he suddenly stopped as he realized he forgot to blow out the candles. After returning from dispensing the flames, he quickly made his way toward her as she walked out unto the balcony.
Casting his eyes upon her as she made her way over toward the stone railing, out the shadowing view of his right peripheral he caught sight of the changing sky. Quickly turning to fully engage its awesome beauty, he soon found himself taken in by its grandeur.

Spiritually captured under natures’ discerning of truth, it appeared as if the innocence of day were presenting an offering in hope of perhaps reclaiming its place among the treasures of heaven. Completely disarmed by the revelation of its transformation, they aimlessly found themselves struggling to piece together what he would later described as an epiphany.

“Honey, are you seeing this?” he asked, staring at the sky as they both stood in awe.

“Yes.” She answered.

Gently reaching over and folding his arms around her, in a receptive effort she tenderly stepped toward him as they moved in closer. Poised in silence as their thoughts went without reason. In a now frozen stance, their hearts submitted to the fragility of their emotions, as tears slowly fell from their eyes.

Totally moved by natures’ rendition of a new beginning. In a fainting breadth of instance, grace fervently dawned upon them without much warning. Appearing as a mirrored reflection of their love, masked under the auspices of a spiritual journey into quietism. In a heightened sense of consciousness, it all became interpretive in an unscripted soliloquy spoken through the windswept voice of the Pacific.

It seemed as though only seconds had past since they’d stepped out unto the balcony and into the early morning air. Though what could have immeasurably equated out to a fleeting moment’s stay in the realm of eternity, turned out to be a little over thirty minutes at length. Gradually returning to a rational frame of thought as he contemplatively drifted, in a haunting distraction he found himself revisiting moments of the night before.

Searching for perhaps a chance at engaging hope, he fully understood it is going to take more than what he has to offer to see them through. She on the only hand, in her heart knew it was going to take more than just provision from God to find peace in her soul. Though at this point they are both willing to give everything for the sake of their marriage.

Emerging out of their thoughts and into the quietness of the moment, they soon found themselves surrounded by silence as it contained all movement. Appearing reflective like the posture of morning dew resting upon weighted foliage, in all of its innocence it seemed as if the silent reverie of dawn was being held at bay.

Appearing to have come undone, they found them selves lingering without cause. Much like the course of love in the lives of the faithful, and the hearts of the unjust under the will of their maker. Now fully immersed in the spiritual realm of natures’ discernment, their eyes fell upon a nearby grove of palms appearing bending, though steadfastly holding in lieu of a much-anticipated breeze.

Many marriages have been lost as a result of choices being made independent of commitments. Though it was a chain of events brought on by his good intentions that propelled them down a path of uncertainty, it was ultimately the realizing and confronting of unresolved emotions that led her to the act that procured the storm.

For the seasoned heart it appears as nothing more than an exercise in the futility of love, conceptualizing the notion of nothing ventured is nothing gained. Yet, for the faithful and trustworthy, it is a gift to be embraced over the spread of time. Granting those who are willing to fight for what matters most, a blessing of a lifetime.

Trying to find their way back to where their love once began, they now realize true love is everything but a destination. One never knows how far they are willing go to save what they have. Yet it is not until you’re confronted with the idea of losing it all, that clarity comes into focus.

Even for those with the most sincere of hearts, when it comes to understanding human nature, we’re all at a loss. And as the result, we fail at making the best at love, spending lifetimes fighting against one another without ever truly knowing why.