We were good friends for over six years. So much in common, a lot of fun to be with, understood my fears, and what I wanted for my future. Both of us came from a divorced family. I had this dream if I ever married it would be forever. He understood this, respected it, as well as wanting this for himself. And the one thing he wanted more than anything, was to be a good husband, a good provider as well a having children. I had never met a man who wanted to be a father more than him. I found this wonderful of him, since I had friends who had children and no father around to love and cherish them. As time went on we grew closer and closer. We were there for each other when our relationships with others ended. We consoled each other, shared each others heartache and hugged to let the other know we still had each other. Six and a half years into this friendship we became lovers. To me it happened out of the blue, for him (he says) a dream come true since the day he met me. His dream was to marry me and have a family. We married. And here we are twenty years later with four wonderful beautiful teenagers.
After our first baby came into the would, he a proud father, showing off his child, me being a mother now, and having to take care of her, he starts to become jealous of this and somewhere before her first birthday, he found a new love.
Crack cocaine. This has been his lover and friend ever since. His personality has changed so much over the years. He has been in rehab four times for recovery. He does well for awhile then “has a slip” as he calls it. He says, we make him insane and off he goes to his love. And me and the children, always forgiving because love is stronger than any drug dare to be. He has lost countless jobs, and when he does come out of his hell, he puts forth the effort to try to repair the damage, he will get a job, pay bills that are well overdue, and the ones that are off to collections, “oh well, so be it.” And if there is any extra money at all, he goes and buys things he wants for himself. He has been arrested a number of times, but always seems to get free of this.
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