Another Dysfunctional Family

By: Debbie Smith (View Profile)

How often things come up missing from the house. I have bought him four wedding rings over the years. All gone. No, mine is gone also. I sold it to buy food a few years back. I have to replace his though. This is very important to him that he has a ring. Had the electric shut off, him turning it back on illegally, and then borrowing the money from someone to pay the bill. Does he pay them back? Sometimes yes, most not. He has a large family, but over the years they have faded away from us. Can you blame them? No.

The holidays are a nightmare. He hates the holidays, so he makes them miserable for us. Last year, Thanksgiving was spent in “quiet” at the table. Christmas, he lay on the couch after the children opened their gifts and for the next five days he ate, slept, watch TV. And we were not permitted to disturb him, so we all stayed in other rooms. The day before this Thanksgiving he got mad at the children because they had not cleaned up the kitchen from where he had ate all day, and left his garbage and dirty dishes all over the kitchen. They are ungrateful selfish brats, that only want him for what he can give to them. So he proceeded to throw things at us, break things, and verbally abuse us for three hours. The following day, he lay in bed all day, and when he did come out of the bedroom he would tell us how we are going to regret treating him the way we do. And in between this he is taking things from the house and going off to get his high, sneaks back in in the middle of the night, eats what ever he can find, makes a mess, then sneaks out again to go off to his hell he seems to love so much. 

I stay away from people anymore. I have learned that I am so ashamed of myself, I have shielded my self emotionally. I am embarrassed of myself.

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posted: 12.02.2007
Rachel Rose
You need alanon. have you ever gone to an alanon meeting? You can meet other people in the same situation and they will help you get your life back,whether your husband is using or not.
posted: 11.29.2007
CathyHappyAtlast Matteson
Debbie, I understand all to well how hard it is to feel good about yourself when you are going through mental abuse. What I had to do is I gave my mom money when ever I could. When there got to be enough I packed up my stuff, and left, got a restraining order, and found a safe haven. I went to another town. Finally he was arrested and went to prision where he died. It took me along time and three marriages before I got mentally well. I did it with the help of my church, my lord, my scripuures and many books on co-dependency. It is a tuff road to hall. You can do it. There are agency out there who can help. There are sights on the internet that you can find that will help you and your children escape. Find some one that you can trust. Start making plans for your departure. Have someone hide clothes, food, and money where he can't find it. Find a bank in a neighboring city or state and put the account in another name, like your maiden name. Have faith god is with you.
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