My mom did not want to press charges against my father either for what he’d done to my sister and I when he was reported, but for some reason by this time their marriage had become more solid and she stood by his side, denying to the police any knowledge of the abuse and in fact denying it happened at all.
For some reason, my dad being forced to leave the house brought my buried memories of that six months when I was seven years old to the forefront of my mind like a title wave. I remembered the oral sex with Larry and the sex with his sons, but not the ritualistic abuse. That came to me several more years later. But I told my mom about Larry and she told my dad. He came over to visit one day, to talk. He was furious about Larry and wanted to know about the details. I couldn’t understand why it was okay for him to do what he did to me, but not okay for someone else.
Shortly after that I graduated from high school and moved out on my own. My father never had sex with me again. There were other times I felt threatened by him, but I will go into that later. I put myself into psychotherapy through low income mental health clinics, but I was still very depressed. I no longer had the sex with my dad to disassociate, so I became very promiscuous. It seemed like every time I had a problem or negative emotion, I would seek out someone to have sex with so I could disassociate. I was using sex like other addicts use drugs or alcohol. I thrived on the danger of unprotected sex; I was very lucky to never get pregnant or contract any disease.
Part 3 | (Part 4)
