A Survivor’s Story (Part 4)

Right before I graduated High School I met a man who was dating an acquaintance of mine. We became instant friends and kept in touch for the next five years. He would stop by my home on his way to work, early in the morning and leave little notes on my windshield of my car. He always made sure I thought about him, and I always did. He married the acquaintance, she asked me to be her maid of honor, I suppose because she had no one else to ask. They were married for one year when she left him and filed for divorce. We stayed in contact with each other, never once being sexually involved. I supported him through his divorce, he supported me through my many “boyfriends.” We wrote back and forth to each other while he was out on his many deployments before, during and after his marriage. He knew everything about me, but I didn’t realize until it was too late I knew nothing outside of his Naval career and his mother about him. He even knew about my past experiences with my father, but he never brought it up. It was always me who brought the subject up. And I didn’t think it was strange he wanted details of what my dad did to me. It just felt good to have someone to confide in who seemed safe to me. In November 1988 we were married in a small Southern California town after a one week courtship by a justice of the peace with a small reception at my parent’s home. It was a tiny wedding, his mom and my family only. His mom didn’t like me and my family didn’t like him, but we married anyhow. I realized in the car on the ride to the hotel after our reception that I didn’t know him like I thought I did and that I’d made a horrible mistake and never should have married him. However, I didn’t believe in divorce at the time so I felt I was stuck. My first day of marriage and I already felt stuck. My only saving grace was that he was active duty Navy and due to leave for six months in less than three weeks.