What seemed to take forever for him to get there, I was walking up and down the hall waiting for him to get to the house! He finally showed up and we loaded the kids into his car. I looked at him while we were in the car, and he said to me everything was going to fine. I told him, “Dad I don’t think so, I really feel him floating away from me!” All he could tell me was to be positive and God will take care of the rest!
To what it seemed like more than an hour to reach the hospital, was on fifteen minutes. He pulled up to the emergency room and I jumped out of the car and ran inside. I was actually calm but very afraid! All I can remember looking up and telling the clerks to take me to my husband. They looked at each other and asked if I was ok! I was angry at that point because no one could direct me my husband! A police officer touched my shoulder and asked me to follow him. I knew at that point it wasn’t good! They took into a small room and my mother in law stood up and told me “I’m sorry but he didn’t make it”
I grabbed my stomach and said “MY BABY!” She soon grabbed me and said “NO HE’S MINE!” All I could do was say I know that!
You see I wasn’t referring to my husband, I was talking about my kids! My babies have to grow up without a dad! I felt more for my children than myself! I thought it would be selfish to think of me first. My children are my first priority! It’s hard to be a single mom and to try to do dad things with my kids. I know I can NEVER replace a dad’s love! All I can do is give them memories of their father. Even though it had been fifteen years since he has passed now; it doesn’t seem to get easier! When I see my children’s faces, they remind me of there father and that is the best thing in the world!
