The Interview

I recalled the sewing room she would lock herself up in, where she made beautiful garments for the ladies in the town to wear. It was also the room she made the dresses my sisters and I wore, and shirts for my brothers … often from the same material. We didn’t get store-bought clothing, unless it was the neighbor’s hand-me-downs. I was the eighth child of ten, the sixth daughter, and I got everyone’s hand-me-downs!

“Why would she lock herself in this room?” The question was asked.

“No doubt so she could get some work done.” I half-heartedly laughed. “With a house full of kids, she probably couldn’t accomplish much. Plus she had to work to help make ends meet. We were poor. Everyone knew it, except for us.”

“So who took care of you?” the Asian woman asked.

“The older kids mostly, my sisters.” I replied.

I then shared stories of waking in the night crying and my older sisters or my dad tending to me. Once in particular I recalled waking sick and Daddy fetching me some medicine and rubbing my back when I coughed so badly it hurt. I remembered searching in the darkness of the room for my mother and as my eyes adjusted to the dimness, spotting her across the room tending to my younger brother who was also ill. Daddy was a good nursemaid I guess, but I was wishing Mom could’ve taken care of me.

I also remember crying when my sisters left home, one at a time. My attachment was particularly strong with my older sisters who I had interacted with and who had been my caregivers often more than my own mother. By the time I was old enough to start school though, two of my older siblings had already graduated from high school. By the time I was in the third grade, there were only four of us children left at home. I felt abandoned, even traumatized by the separation of my older siblings which I had bonded so strongly with in the first few years of my life. I felt detached as I watched them reach adulthood, go their separate ways, establish their own identities and independence, pursue employment, and start families of their own.