I told my husband several years ago that I could not think of a single “nice” thing that my mother had ever said to me. Not long after that comment was made, I dropped in one afternoon to see my eighty-year-old mom. During that visit, my mother took my hand and smiling said, “I’ve never known of anyone who didn’t like you.” I cried all the way home. That was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me.
Many folks don’t have a lifetime to decide that they like someone. But in this case, God has given me many years to work this out with my mother and I am so thankful for the time I’ve been allotted to discover that Mom did her best with what she had to work with. Mom was busy, busy making sure we kids always had everything we needed, making sure we were in church every time the doors were open, and just doing the best she could. As a Mother myself now, and a grandmother, I know that being a Mom is a difficult job. I also realize that my Mom was probably doing her best job as a Mom when she told me NO so many times. “No” to wearing my dresses too short, “no” to back talking, “no” to running around town too late at night, and “no” to the guy I wanted to date with the bad attitude and bad reputation.
I was blessed with a great mother. The lessons she taught me and my siblings have served as the lessons that we’ve passed along to our own children. We may not have realized it then, but as adults we can look back and know that she instilled in us the most important values. They are the same values that we have tried to instill in our own children.
My Mother and I now have those mother-daughter moments when we laugh and giggle like schoolgirls and whisper where no one can hear. The hugs and kisses come freely and though she doesn’t get around very well anymore, we can often find a chair to sit in outside, where we can share stories and a little gossip. Her memory is failing, and often she is child-life. Our roles have switched. This role is shared with my other siblings and we all cherish the moments we have with her. Now it’s our turn to console her, tend to her when she is ill, and comfort her when she is sad. I can’t remember the last time I was angry at my mother, or that she was angry at me. We don’t have time for such nonsense. I’m savoring the happy moments we have and making memories to store away for a day when Mom is no longer around.
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