Dear Sugar,
I am getting married, and my fiancé and I are paying for our own wedding. We are keeping it small, and I don’t want to invite my aunt and her family who both my mother and I have a long history of ill will toward. Our families have had numerous verbal blowouts, and my aunt hasn’t even acknowledged my engagement with a call, card, or a gift.
My mom wants me to invite them to keep peace in the family for my ninety-year-old grandfather, but I feel that having them there in such a small intimate setting will be bad karma and could ruin my wedding day. Do I have an obligation to invite them? I could use some objective advice to present to my mother. —Torn Tammy
Dear Torn Tammy,
The greatest part about having a small wedding is that you don’t have to invite everyone. It sounds as though this part of your family is a huge source of contention for not only you but your mom as well, so I don’t blame you for not wanting to include them. Your wedding day will no doubt be stressful enough as it is, so I don’t see why you should add even more reason to worry. With that said, I do understand your mother’s intentions of keeping the peace, but this is your day, not hers. Although your grandfather is elderly, hopefully he and the rest of your family understand your rationale and desire to keep your wedding small, intimate, and filled with love and good wishes.
