Childhood Abuse: What Would You Do as an Adult?

This is very difficult to write, but I am hoping to find someone who has had a similar experience. As a child I experienced horrible atrocities from the ages of 6 to 9— predominately from my mother's boyfriend—physical, psychological & sexual abuse. When I asked my mother about my biological father, she said he wasn’t worth knowing. I could not fathom anything worse than the horror I endured from my not-biological stepfather.

In the subsequent years, my mother left him and found “religion.” In the meantime, I also discovered "religion,” got married, had kids, got divorced, etc. When my "religious' husband hit me the first time, I said "That's it."

Since then, I have been attempting to make it on my own and be a confident, successful woman, raising my kids who are happy, healthy, confident, smart and strong; having a job I love and being in a healthy relationship; despite the fact that my mother constantly tells me 'I'm going to hell' because I don't go to church and I'm not married to the man I have a healthy relationship with. I've done fairly well in overlooking the fact that I've never gotten an actual apology from my mother—who allowed these atrocities to occur, but yet continues to have a "holier than thou" attitude towards me—I figure she has also suffered, since I know she was drugged and beaten most of the time.

I also learned to suppress my feelings concerning my past because I didn't want others to suffer. My mother almost died as a result of one his beatings which I witnessed, but she always covered up by saying "I fell down the stairs." I figure maybe she is mentally imbalanced and unable to deal, so I have tried to let it go.

 However, in the past couple months, my biological Father succeeded in finding my e-mail and contacted me. I was skeptical at first, but agreed to meet him, along with my significant other & my kids. Turns out, he's not such a bad guy—he relayed an event that happened one week prior to my birth wherein he and my mother were in a devastating car accident in which they were both injured, but I survived. My mother left soon after—since then my father says he's been trying to contact me, but with no help from my mother.