Knowing How to Forgive

I have found that through out my life I’ve had to deal with many family members which if by choice I wouldn’t even talk to. Family is family. But, what do you do when you flat out don’t like (or have been hurt by) a family member from your own family, or if married, from your extended family?

Well, I haven’t found a universal solution, but I find that there are two ways to react: be a hypocrite or forgive and move on. I chose the latter, but it hasn’t been easy. Sometimes I would find myself thinking “Why not be a hypocrite?” or “This isn’t worth it!” After almost twenty years of battling, I still find myself nor loosing or winning the war. But, it’s exhausting, especially when you must deal with the person on a daily basis.

So, I honestly find myself either hiding (not answering their calls, or avoiding get-togethers), so not to have to face or deal with these feelings. Having to treat a person according to a standard that you have created is very difficult. My standard being; with respect, with dignity, honestly, truthfully, caringly, the best humanly possible.

My solution: prayer and focus. Lots of prayer and focus! The ability to forgive and truly forget is not easily attained. When I think I have, feelings come back and I have to face the fact that I’m human. Love is a universal language, and yes, I believe that love can be the catalyst for our salvation, but what to do when it’s not present? Every human has the capacity to love. Allowing love to rule in us is the challenge!

I’ve tried to allow as much love as possible to flow through and around me, so to maintain the peace necessary to be an open book and transparent. How to forgive AND forget? Love. Just love and love and love and love …