Dog Spelled Forwards Is “Dog”

This is just one of many pronouncements that Blue makes throughout the book, and Velner (who is identified as an attorney in his author bio—mind-altering drugs are not mentioned) records them as though he is simply taking dictation. The envelope is pushed even further in Llyn de Danaan’s Koans for the Inner Dog: A Guide to Canine Enlightenment. Here, the doggy declarations have formal attributions:

• It is never true that the bark is worse than the bite. A bite is always worse and is spiritually dangerous for the biter. —Foxy, Akita poet and painter

Believe it or not, I think projecting such nonsense onto dogs is worse than laughable. I think it can actually be harmful (at least, to dogs). After all, how can we hope to train dogs properly—to teach them to avoid oncoming cars, and refrain from biting passing strangers—if we’ve decided they’re our spiritual superiors? Regardless of what innate wisdom they do or don’t possess, dogs that are able to peacefully coexist (and just plain exist) in our anthropocentric world do so by following certain rules. Since it’s up to us to teach them those rules, we need to remember who’s in charge.

At the end of the day, I suppose that as long as people do their best to raise happy, healthy dogs, it’s none of my business what they believe. But I stop myself from wondering about Herbert Brokering, whose book Dog Psalms: Prayers My Dogs Have Taught Me interprets canines thusly:

• I am dog…the tides of the oceans are in me. I wiggle as I ride waves, hear love calls of ancient forests, feel the kiss of a wisp of wind. I have a spirit that runs through all times.

But what I really want to know is, do his dogs come when they’re called?