What Online Dating Teaches You About Yourself

Fatal Attraction kind of way, of course. Does he chew with his mouth open? Does she like her job and have an idea about what her next step is? Is he funny? Does she want kids? Does he hate dogs? Is she close with her family? Is he a red-state man trapped in a blue-state? After a couple of months of online dating, your list of deal-makers and deal-breakers will almost write itself. You may be surprised to find a few things on there you didn’t expect.

You can take more rejection than you think. During my online dating adventure, someone once told me they were looking for someone “a little younger.” I was mortified then, but over time I became okay with it. Meeting a lot of people exposes you to a lot of rejection. The first few times aren’t fun, but you get used to it, for the most part. As absolutely fabulous as you are, some people (yes, they’re idiots) won’t like you. Some people don’t know what they want. Some people might have met someone they really liked the night before. Some people are just plain weird. If you can get used to the idea of rejection in its infinite and inexplicable forms, you’ll be better prepared to take it with a grain of salt and just enjoy the time you spend with people while you’re with them.

And sometimes you can’t. Remember what I said in that last paragraph? About rejection being something you’ll get used to? That’s not always true. Sometimes you’ll become frustrated by meeting so many people that are so obviously wrong for you. You might get tired of getting all fluttery about someone you like—who seemed to like you a lot too—who never asks you out again. When you’re feeling that way, you’ve (temporarily) lost your mojo. Give yourself permission to take a break and turn off your profile, maybe just for a week. Put on your sweats, order a large pizza and watch Reese Witherspoon on the TBS Saturday night movie. (It’s not desperate in this scenario.)