The truth is, I knew in my heart what I wanted to do before I asked anyone for any advice. I was just looking for confirmation that my decision was a good one.
That was the inspiration for The 4-Way. When it comes to relationships and dating, we all pretty much know what we should do to make ourselves happy. We just don’t always want to do it. Or sometimes, we’re held hostage by a particular way of thinking that comes from taking advice from the same group of dear, well-meaning friends that we always ask for advice. And you know what happens then: they give us the same kind of answer they always give us. We can probably predict what they’ll say before they even say it.
Enter The 4-Way (pun intended). Ask a dating question and you’ll get an answer from four different perspectives: straight woman, straight man, gay man, lesbian woman. We’re not experts, not even close. We’re just regular people who’ve dated and been in relationships, some that worked, some that didn’t. We’re not so shallow that we think our gender or sexual orientations will create a huge difference in our individual perspectives and opinions, but we have a feeling that every once in a while, they just might. After all, it’s no big secret that women and men think differently. Add in that extra wrinkle of sexual orientation and it could prove for some interesting and insightful advice. It couldn’t hurt to find out.
So ask away. Each month we’ll feature questions from DivineCaroline readers and we’ll put them through The 4-Way machine: myself, Jody Fischer, Darren Maddox, and Chris Kennedy.
In the meantime, we wanted to share our “qualifications”—in quotation marks because come on, who’s really qualified to advise any of us in matters of our own hearts? Even so, we promise to use our experiences and insights to help shed some light where we can. We’re looking forward to hearing from you.
Jody Fischer: Here's the thing about love: you can't fake it. Even if you really want to be in love with someone, if it ain't there, it ain't there. And on the flip side of that equation, sometimes you can love someone with all your heart and even if it’s unrequited, you just can't let it go. I have been on both sides of this truism. I have tried to feel love for a woman, who by all reasonable logic, should have been my perfect mate. And all too often, I have given my heart to a woman who was not interested in sharing hers. And heartache can be a powerful teacher. Through it all I have learned a few things.
