How Do You Get Through a Breakup?

i left my live in partner for 2 years and it left me devastated..i was a battered wife and my ex cheated on me.he would beat me up everytime i'd ask him to leave the girl.so decided to leave him.i focueds on myself.i realized that not only that i am hurting my parents because of what is happening but also becauase im losing my self esteem.i enjoyed every minute that i am with my kids and let myself heal first.i should love myself first before i love others. now, i can say that i moved on already.

When I'm sad, I read a good book and listen to music. While reading the book I often dream of the women that gets the man in the end is me. I often wish that the relationhips that I have experience were as romantic as what I read. I often pray and fast that the uncomfortable feelings disappear. I also have a support network who I speak with on a daily basis. But I later learned that the only way to get over a break is to go through the feelings. I also feel towards the end that it's their lost and not mine.

I started playing tennis towards the end of a long-term relationship, and developed a great passion for playing the game. When that relationship ended, I started spending more time on the court and building friendships with other players. Additioally, I joined two tennis teams. This really helped to take my mind off the breakup and relationship. I found myself spending hours at the courts playing tennis and socializing with others. This really prevented me from spending too much time alone focused on the breakup. The enjoyment I experienced while playing tennis erased any pain I might have felt if that activity had not been a part of my life. My success on the court allowed me to remain confident and postive, despite having experienced a failed relationship. Additionally, I benefited from the exercise - my physical fitness improved and I lost weight. Having an activity outside that relationship that I was very passionate about really eased any pain or hurt I may have felt.

I'm single again, and "back on the prowl". Hayeeee!!!!!!

Relationships! Baaa Humbumg who needs them anyways?

Prayer, good nutrition, enough rest but not too much sleep... are all good basics for me to focus on. I definitely have my own boo-hoo crew (I like that term, Lisa!) and a fabulous factor list (another awesome term!) and time, time, time. I find that breakups are the best time to try to stay present and in the moment... every time I start thinking about what went wrong or what might go wrong (or even right!) in the future, I stop and pray for that thought to be gone, and begin to focus on the next immediate action I have in front of me, whether it's another step if I'm walking, or another keystroke if I'm writing, or another bite if I'm eating... whatever the next immediate action is, I focus on that instead of letting my mind wander to feelings of self-pity. When in doubt, I call a friend and ask her how SHE's doing... it gets me to stop thinking about my own problems and involved in helping someone else.

Im in the middle of a getting over my breakup. I was dating a younger man (he was 23 and Im 29), I was his first serious girlfriend. We were together for 2 years and he dumped me 3 times during that time. Everytime I wanted to get more serious he would freak out and dump me. Well present day and its been a month since the breakup I made the mistake of rebounding and that person went m.i.a and now im crushed again. Im sure this is gods way of telling me to be single for a while. I have a great network of friends who have been here day and night for me. I have random moments that i break out and cry, feel sad at the drop of a hat, eating so much chocolate and comfort food. I try to watch comedies on tv when im at home. the hardest times are the nights especially after i come home from spending time with my friends. I broke down and cried so hard during thanksgiving and now im sad about xmas and new years eve. i pray alot now.

Nancy what and where are these support groups ?

There is always that one person you love unconditionally besides God. Breaking up with that person is THE hardest lesson in life anyone would have to go through. Remembering the good times and forgiving yourself for the bad helps, but going through the grieving process is the healthy way to move forward (baby steps). Acknowledge your feelings, accept the change, and admit your part. We can only control our own feelings and we cannot change anyone or blame anyone for our part. When my true love left me I was devastated and it took 2 years to get over the loss, but each and every time I heard his name, or saw him, it was pure bliss and torture. I know deep down that we share that respect and remember the love, but being able to move forward, by communicating, forgiving, and maturing is the only way to move on. The hardest part was trusting, dating, and the fear of going through these emotions again, but if you truly go through the grief process you will find serenity once again.

This is definately a loss that feels like a death. I lost my father in May 2005 and my boyfriend of 9 years left the relationship 6 months later. I was so overwhelmed I didn't even realize I wasn't dealing with my grief until almost a year later. I had threwn myself into work then started to break down at work; that's when a friend at work suggested I 'talk' to a therapist. I had't shared my grief with anyone not even family- I hadn't taken care of myself at all. I did go to a therapist and subsequently group therapy, I found it helped and still helps to know that other poeple have been going through the same experiences and emotions. I've opened up at work and let others know what I've been dealing with, and found my co-workers understanding, many having experienced the same losses, some even more tragic and that helped me put my pain into a perspective that I am dealing with something painful to me, but perhaps not as tragic as what life can sometimes bring. Love yourself first!