How Do You Get Through a Breakup?

This is such an important topic, especially as the holidays approach. Breakups are tough anytime of year, but especially during the holidays. Here are my top five tips for surviving a breakup:

1. Distance yourself from your ex
2. Give yourself time to grieve (a.k.a. celebrate your slump)
3. Recruit your Boo-Hoo Crew (a.k.a. support group)
4. Create healthy ways to fill your free time so you don't contact your ex
5. Keep a Fabulous Factor list to remind yourself of all the reasons you are incredible on your own, with or without your ex

I found taking lots of walks, daily writing and most importantly scribing a gratitude list (even noticing the little things...like a shorter line at Peets when I am in rush!).

Helps re-frame my mind.

where do you find this support group?After being in a 10 year relationship we broke up.I probably always had a doubt about being with him and thats why we never married.I would spend the weekends at his house,(my kids are all grown and have kids of their own)It was
great we would never fight,when I seen things going in that direction I would just go home and tell him to call me when he was in a better mood.Now I have been spending alot of time with my family but I still dwell on what could have been if I had married him Any suggestions? Its been two months and I do not know how to meet someone else or date.I dread the whole bar scene as he was a heavy drinker,(as was my ex-husband whom I have divorced 20 years ago) and do not want that kind of relationship again.How do I get on with my life?

Hey ladies! That is an ongoing saga for us. I broke up with my bf of 9 years several months ago and am dating a guy, not just any guy but a co-worker. (very long story). I realized that I don't know how to be single. It's really terrible. Again, long story but I noticed that I spend my time with either one or the other. (Yes, I'm still hanging out with my ex because I don't know how to be alone.)
Nancy, support group sounds good but where do you find them? -Thanks.

Nancy Carol
I joined a women's support group. Best thing I ever did. They were not only very supportive, but they gave me allot of positive suggestions & tips on survival. Something, I would have never known about had I not join them. That was 10 years ago. My life has changed for the better, but I owe much to this group. I will never forget them.

Completely spoil yourself - whenever you miss him, think of what you could do for yourself. Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers, a pair of earrings, take a bath with the water as hot as you can stand, give yourself a facial/manicure/pedicure, etc. I also watch tear-jerker movies and bawl my eyes out. What a release! Love yourself - watch your self-talk, make sure you are saying only loving things. And above all, remember that "now is not forever." You will heal. Sending cyber hugs!

I cant say what that would take , but I realized that its all about finding more love for self . If you love anything here on earth more then God and yourself it,s a sure set up for failure. Rejection ,lonelyness,and abandonment is 3 of teh worst spirits I ever had to deal with in my life . I been battleing these spirits all my life and today I can say that its God,s kind way of saying love thyself more, and you will look less outside of yourself for forfilment . Then you can love more balanced ,and draw to yourself a better companion. And God forbid if it comes to a end at least you will love yourself enough to know when to let go of a self detstroying relationship

Natalie: One way you can cope with a breakup is to tell yourself how great you are! You have alot to offer in a relationship and just because one person doesn't choose to continue to reap the benefits of your presence, assuredly someone else will. Release all the anger, disappointment, disallusionment, resentment, etc., and give your emotions and body a break, then start looking forward to a great relationship with someone else. Release the person. Admit that you miss them. Evaluate the plus and minuses realistically regarding the relationship. Don't place blame, especially on yourself. Realize there was a decision made and you don't like the decision, but can still admire the person.

Writing is great for healing. What ever your circumstances were for the break up, your feelings are real and writing your thoughts, holding nothing back will bring clarity. If you are angry, write a letter to your ex, again holding nothing back. Don't send the letter, instead rip it into pieces and throw it into the air and when you do release your angers and hurts along with the pieces of papers as they blow away...Time will heal and it will also give you an understanding of what you want and don't want in future relationship and I promise there will be future ones. With each relationship we learn and with this we grow. Keep your faith and know that if you seek your higher power, he will take the pain from you. The thoughts you had while riding the train would be a good start for your journal of your life path journey. HUGS TO YOU :>)

I went through something similar except mine was my spouse . we had been having problems and lost communication and over a two week period he was moving out without saying a word and I heard him getting the last of his things and he left and did not return . I went to the restroom and on the sink basin was a letter telling me he was tired of the marriage . how did I get through well I believe everything has a expiration date I was told rejection is Gods protection and I live each day with peace because someone was looking out for me..God