A year after Lorenzo and I were married, we had a difficult time. No matter how much we loved each other, it seemed we were constantly fighting.
We couldn’t agree on anything.
Not only were we challenged with the obvious … he’s a man and I’m a woman … we had the added complication of Lorenzo being French/Italian and my being American. (Let’s just say … I’m not fluent in French or Italian. And his English was “basic.”)
I thought we were just having “communication problems.” Wrong.
According to Dr. Pat Allen, we were in two completely different styles of relationships.
You might say I was in a “romantic comedy” and Lorenzo was in a “romantic tragedy.” (French/Italians can be soooo dramatic!)
No wonder we weren’t getting along!
We weren’t even on the same stage! We were “acting” in two very different shows. Understanding our Style of Relationship saved our marriage!
It’s my bet that many couples would stay together longer if they understood they weren’t in the same relationship style as each other … AND knew what to do about it!
So what Relationship Style do you prefer? And are you in the same style as your partner?
You have three choices.*
*You can change your relationship styles with days of the week (or hours in a day). The secret is to be in the SAME RELATIONSHIP at the SAME TIME as your partner.
BTW … These Styles of Relationships apply in ALL romantic relationships … Straight, Gay, or Lesbian.
1. The Buddy Film
This is a relationship of equality. Both partners share 50/50 percent of the responsibility.
Both partners contribute financially. Both partners contribute to the homemaking.
Both partners want to be respected for their thinking and cherished for their feelings.
Both partners can lead. Both partners can follow. Just not at the same time.
This style of relationship works very well with dual income families, couples without children, and couples who have children who have grown and gone. (It also seems to be the preferred style of the “younger generation.”)
The secret to keeping romantic intimacy in a “Buddy Film” is to “cross-talk” with your partner.
