Looking for a relationship is like looking for work. If you really want someone with whom to share your life, you’ll search as seriously as you would if you wanted a job.
Both processes involve good salesmanship, knowing what your assets are, and how to present yourself. Both require a quick compatibility judgment after a brief interview. In order to make this judgment, you need to be aware of your values and goals—what you do well and what makes you happy.
Appearance is important; you seldom get a second chance to correct a bad first impression, usually receiving only a variation of “Don’t call us, we’ll call you.”
On a first date, you’re not required to bring a resume, but how you describe yourself will screen you in or out for further consideration. In job hunting and dating, you should have a clear idea of the job/person in mind. Otherwise, you’re likely to waste a lot of time and energy.
You need to be out meeting people. It’s absolutely necessary to be in the right environment where your chances for meeting the right person are enhanced just by the numbers. Be in as many places and develop as many contacts as possible. Select places where you can develop a presence (classes, neighborhoods, volunteer work).
After repeated attendance, you’re bound to develop a network leading to more contacts.
Since we all tend to lose composure in the presence of something we really want, practice and discipline pay off. Interviewing skills—initiating questions, showing interest, and knowing how to respond to questions—are equally important.
Another critical skill is negotiating for what you want. What is essential and what are you willing to compromise?
Once you’ve identified the job/person you want, the next step is to make a significant commitment of time and energy. Only then will you know whether you’ve chosen a good fit.
No one said it would be easy, but a positive outlook can turn opportunity into reality.
