Laura woke up in the back room at the club; with bruises on her thighs, half naked and suspected that someone may have had sex with her. Laura couldn’t remember who the person was or any other details. She was hung over for days afterward. Laura blocked the whole incident from her mind and allowed a numbness to take over her feelings. Her grades fell and she found her mind wandering in class. This is common for women that have been raped and can be used as a defense mechanism. Being overwhelmed with feelings or losing control are common reactions to what has happened to them. Other women may become anxious or depressed.
In Laura’s case, she discovered six weeks later she was pregnant. She dropped out of college to have the baby. Laura chose to have him adopted, by a childless couple, through our adoption center. “It was the only way I could make something good come out of something so bad. I needed to do something positive and it wasn’t the child’s fault.”
Laura recalls when she first found out she was pregnant, how angry and scared she was, “I wouldn’t have sex with a guy I didn’t know. I have always been so careful of what I do and who I date. I was just so mad at myself for not being more careful. I didn’t know if I had contracted a disease or HIV, it was very scary and embarrassing.”
Toni, a freshman in college in San Diego was a victim of the date rape drug. During spring break, she was assaulted at a party by a friend she met in a class. Toni had known him for almost a year. She kept saying, “I considered him one of my best friends. He acted like he would protect me. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it actually happened to me, even now. My body has been violated, my trust in him, as a friend, has been shaken and I feel betrayed … I keep saying to myself, I know him, and he’s not a terrible person—so it must have been something I said to him or did that got me into this mess. I don’t remember and I keep trying to remember what I did, or said—what happened that night—my own judgment has been stunned! I just couldn’t go through with an abortion, after what happened, as hard as the pregnancy was for me, I have always believed there are no mistakes and this baby didn’t cause this. Why should this child be the one that suffers? It took some time, but I chose a family that I knew would love this baby. When I started college I would have never dreamt something like this would happened to me! I have never regretted giving birth and giving her life. I still have trouble trusting people, but am working on it.”
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