Ever since I can remember, I wanted my life to be a fairy tale. The bedtime story to end all stories. The prince is going to fall in love with me at first sight, sweep me off my feet, and take me to the castle to live happily ever after …
NOT!!! In real life, my life is a shattered dream of what ifs and whys.
Welcome back to the real world. What my life is is a broken marriage and a series of men who are completely emotionally and mentally unavailable. Starting with the marriage, I was more like the prince. I was going to fix him up and make him a productive member of society. If I loved him enough and gave him enough everything would be better. Boy, did that ever blow up in my face. What I really got was a dependant alcoholic who sucked all the funds out of my bank account for twelve years! The saying that love is blind is an understatement. It’s also dumb, deaf, mute, and stupid. Only reward from that failed attempt was my two wonderful sons.
Fast forward to now. So you think I would have learned. Nope. Still a believer in the elusive prince. This time it was a gorgeous attorney who lived in a very affluent neighborhood and drove a luxury vehicle. I must have been blinded by all the bling. I’m still trying to decide if he is just as bad or if not worse the ex-husband. He did a number on me. We met on an online dating site. Remember that now, a dating site where everyone, well almost everyone, is looking for their most compatible match for a long term relationship. Like I said, make that everyone except for him. He played with me like a cat plays with a ball of string. Batting it around, watching it roll all over the floor and become unraveled. Which is the perfect description of how I became. UNRAVELED! He utterly unraveled me and left me for dead. Metaphorically speaking of course. He would tell me about all the dates he went on, all the physical flaws the girls had and the emotional baggage he didn’t want to deal with. That’s why I was the perfect girl for him. Emotionally stable, physically fit, and his compatible match in bed. Only problem, he didn’t want a relationship. I lusted after this beautiful man. Three months wasted on this man who in the end goes on to tell me he’s not ready. But he did say I should be patient, it will happen in a few years. HA! Wait a few years so he can trade up for an even newer model? I’m stupid, but not that stupid.
