Half the reason those of us who are unmarried get paralyzed with fear is the pressure of knowing the end result: The belief that getting married means signing up for a plan that’s already set. Who wants to know that today the world is open and tomorrow after the wedding it closes? No wonder people run away, cancel weddings, and get divorced.
Marriage works if we throw away its social face and accept that “life” is an open book. It’s strange to commit to a lifelong partnership that’s open-ended. It somehow seems fundamentally opposed. But if you think of life as each day, it becomes a gift, where you get to wake up with that wonderful person instead of walking around wondering where he or she is.
I know a few married couples whose relationships support my theory. I admire them and continue to look to them. I continue to hope for more people to take the practice to a desirable place. To actually hear less of “the ball and chain” comments at parties. To stop limiting marriage to certain couples. To stop judging people who already tried and failed and want to try again. To stop watching people glimpse at this modern view of marriage but succumb to the shadow of its predecessor. To stop reading other people’s vows and start writing our own.
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