The Bride-to-Be

My wedding is in two months, and it is clear that every spare minute between now and the big day will be spent preparing for this event. There are “to-do” lists a mile long detailing every step that must be taken in order to orchestrate a successful wedding. This work of course falls on my shoulders, and therefore requires me to embrace the duties of being a Bride-To-Be. The problem is that in being a Bride-To-Be I must sacrifice every interest and activity that is my own. As a Bride-To-Be I must put my identity on hold in order to plan a wedding.       

I feel ashamed of the fact that I have become consumed with wedding planning. It is one day that will speed by and feel amazingly short, and in the end it will be remembered as a party. I have given up my life to plan a party and I don’t even like parties! I have been transformed. I used to be the girl who talked about books and music, and now I am the girl who discusses the color coordination of bouquets and bride’s maids’ dresses. How did this happen? How did I lose my identity? Why am I having this big, demanding wedding if it’s taking the rest of my life hostage?

The truth is I know the answer to these questions...I wanted the big wedding, and I knew how badly my mother and soon to be mother-in-law wanted the big wedding. When we announced our engagement our mothers’ eyes instantly lit up as they began to fire off all the ideas and visions they had – center pieces, save-the-dates, flower arrangements....the ideas kept coming. At first it was fun, I too enjoyed all the initial plans. But being the detailed orientated person that I am it didn’t take long for me to realize the amount of work that goes into these ideas. For example, you don’t just select a florist, you research their prices and styles, interview them to discuss their visions for your wedding, and educate yourself on the symbolic meaning of flowers. Every detail of a wedding has ten more details that come with it. The amount of energy, time, and money that goes into planning a wedding was a rude awakening for me as a new Bride-To-Be when I thought I could just throw together a wedding.     

By the time I realized how much work this wedding was going to be it was too late to back out.