Just Say I Do: The Bachelor Officer and A Gentleman

I was so excited when Tina asked him what his flaws were this week! (I do get really into it!) And it gave him the opportunity to reveal something about himself, and to be vulnerable, which are the moments that forge true connection. But I would love to see a woman feel really good about and complete in herself and not express that she needs some sort of completion in him, or has already fallen instantly in love, and instead, that she wants to know about him, and then choose if he is a good match for her. I know that wouldn’t make for as good television, and that this is a show based on the Prince-like man choosing his Princess, and having them all try the shoe on (“the shoe” being the group dates, one-on-one dates, two-on-one dates (?!), “quality alone time” etc.) to see who fits into the mold but…it's totally weird! Marriage is big deal, y'all! This is WEIRD!

And, while I do see Andy-The-Bachelor's appeal and find him somewhat charming and endearing, I have some serious issues with things that I would now like to highlight. When Bevin hurt her ankle, he left his group date to ride in the ambulance with her and spent time with her in the hospital, which impressed me and I have to say, won me over. But then, cut to: him frolicking with several bikini-clad hopefuls in a giant mud bath while Bevin remained at the hospital alone. Plus, she won the rose! Because she hurt her ankle for him! It was an expression of just how dedicated she was to him, and this process! It really pains me to even start to think about the implications of this sentiment. And then, I found it problematic that the other girls in the house were jealously gossiping about Bevin and the “alone time” and attention she got from Andy. Hello, she was in a HOSPITAL!!! Because she was INJURED!!!

Or, I will believe that he feels he has forged a sincere connection with one of the women, and shares a sweet kiss with her. But then. Moments later, it appears that he has a sincere connection/sweet kiss moment with another woman. This. Would bother me. If I were one of the women being connected to.

And lastly—and this may just be me because I am English major and picky about weird grammatical quirks but I think I can speak for most people when I say that this is irritating—he refers to people in the third person when they are right in front of him. As in, “I'm just getting to know Bevin” (said to Bevin), or “I'm here trying to talk to Amanda” (spoken to, you guessed it, Amanda).

But most importantly, while I pretty much despise everything The Bachelor stands for, and abhor the way it teaches women to undervalue themselves and act as if they are less than until validated by a man, until they “win the game” and snag a husband, while I feel that the template it establishes and reinforces about how relationships are to be created and maintained based on unrealistic fantasy from group mud baths to romantic yachting adventures for two to the Rose Ceremony is so very damaging to our society, relationships, and the institution of marriage itself, I CAN'T STOP WATCHING IT!!!