It’s six a.m. I wake up to the text message bleep on my phone alerting me that my boyfriend, Paul, has sent me a “good morning luv <3” before heading to his first class of the day. I smile to myself and roll into the middle of the bed, snuggling up against where he would be … if he were here. When you’re 3,000 miles away from the person you love most, you live for these moments.
Paul and I met a year ago; we lived together during a study abroad program in Europe. We like to tell people that we hated each other when we first met, but the truth is that it wasn’t long before we were cooking dinner for each other and writing our papers together while cuddling in bed. I’m still amazed at how Paul took this fiercely independent woman, who never let anyone interrupt the treasured private moments of her life, and turned her into a love-struck girl who craves his company even while brushing her teeth.
The irony of the whole situation is that I don’t even get a proper date anymore. After our stint abroad, Paul and I returned to our respective colleges, mine in New York, his in California. To all outward appearances, I am as single as ever. I go out to dinner with friends—most of whom are paired up—and bury my face in my salad while they feed each other appetizers. I sit home on date night watching movies, with no one to look at gaga-eyed when Harry meets Sally, or when Johnny pulls Baby out of the corner.
I asked some friends what their favorite part about being in a relationship is and many of them reported snuggles and such among their top ten. Most people in serious relationships will tell you that these physical perks are the reward for all of the struggles and heartaches that it takes to go the distance (no pun intended).
So how do you keep it going without the cuddles, kisses, and, need I say, sex? What takes their place? How do you bear in mind that the most important person in your life has no day-to-day part in it? Can you even remember why you’re moving around your entire schedule to accommodate someone else’s time zone and spending a huge chunk of your earnings on a phone bill? Is this worth all the pain and loneliness?
PREVIOUS PAGE
