Months of planning—the perfect dress, the flowers, the chapel, the cake, the honeymoon, and the stress! All over with, but now what? Now you begin to learn to live with each other for the rest of your lives, or at least that’s the intention. Although I have no valid proof to back this up, I would venture to guess that a lot of brides go through a post-partum depression after the wedding. You’ve spent the last few months, year, maybe more, working towards that one day and now it’s done. Now life begins to kick in full swing and you learn to live as husband and wife. Here’s a couple of things to keep in mind as you live your “happily ever after”:
1. Have a financial plan.
I’m not talking about deciding on your retirement (although that will come soon enough) but rather day-to-day finances. Who pays what? Should you have a joint account, separate accounts, or both? Both parties should play an active part in money allocation and financial decisions. Some couples prefer to have one person in charge of the finances; this can be good and bad. Perhaps one of you is better at making financial decisions, staying on top of due dates, and budgeting—so from that aspect it makes sense. If you are the non responsible party, however, you should still know where the money is going and keep an active interest.
My husband and I have separate bank accounts and it works for us. It’s not that we don’t trust one another or are trying to hide anything; it just is easier for our system. We’ve decided to split the bills and are each responsible for specific items. He is the primary income so he pays larger bills (i.e., mortgage) from his account and I pay smaller bills (i.e., utilities) from my account. Overall, we still consider all of the money, our money. There is never a question if I need him to pay something or vice versa. One plus of having different accounts is you are able to buy gifts without your other half knowing exactly how much you spent and where it was spent before they even open their gift—spoils the surprise a bit!
2. Friends.
It is vital that you maintain relationships outside of your own. This will be especially important as you mature out of the honeymoon phase and decide that although you love him/her, you don’t want to be with them every waking moment! Each person should be able to keep their identity and their previous friendships. Ladies, it’s okay for him to go out with the guys. It’s ok if they want to drink beer and play poker. It is healthy and trusting him to do those things will strengthen your relationship. Men, same goes for you. She needs a girls’ night out to vent, shop, and do all of the things girls do. You need to trust one another. I say all of this with the caveat that there should be a balance, and every night out with the guys/gals is probably not ok or healthy for the relationship.
