I Am So Not a Good Dater

When I found myself suddenly single in my 30s, I realized how hard the dating game was for me. The turmoil of men with their own agendas, wondering if they’d call me or if I seemed too forward in calling them, etc. I was always the type where I wanted to either be friends and do things socially or be in an exclusive romantic relationship. I realized some men did not want to be friends and certainly didn’t want an exclusive romantic relationship, they wanted the goodies without the commitment.  

I almost had a heart attack when one man asked me if I liked children and I said I did and found out he had full custody of his six children ranging in ages two to fifteen. The ex wife was long gone. At no time in our meeting did he express he wanted to share his life with a kind woman who would love and help raise his kids, it was all about finding a mother for his children and having a clean house and meals prepared on time. I quietly removed myself from that situation. It wasn’t about the kids, or cleaning or meals, it was about his agenda. 

Another dating experience included an extremely intoxicated guy who barely remembered my name with his hands all over me. The next morning, he called to apologize, but either chose to forget or didn’t remember some of the things he said and did the night before. He asked if I’d like to have champagne brunch with him sometime and I politely said I just wanted to rediscover myself and ease back into the dating scene. When he asked me if I would call him when I had rediscovered myself and wanted to date again, I just quietly said, “No.”

After some terrible dating experiences and some good ones, I resigned myself to just let nature take its course. Thanks to some dear friends, I did meet and marry the love of my life. They found the perfect guy when I was least expecting it. I made up for the lost time in my twenties and thirties. I actually was wooed and had an incredible courtship with my husband. I experienced getting flowers for no reason, watching sunsets because we could, heart shaped pizzas, and champagne on Valentine’s Day. I get lots of kisses and hugs just because and it’s wonderful.