I was the only person there who knew neither the bride or the groom, it occurred to me halfway through the night. As my boyfriend did the obligatory European family kiss-kiss-kisses, I stood stiffly at his side and smiled at people I did not know. My night was spent tearing rose petals into tiny hearts and sculpting melted candle wax into tulips in a (failed) attempt to not look bored. Having absolutely no connection to either of the people involved put me in an interesting position—observing the wedding as an objective outsider let me realize just how much was totally unnecessary.
Weddings are a strange beast. As a child, I imagined they would be fairly straightforward. In fairytales, weddings are the event directly before the “happily ever after”—a man and a woman who love each other pledge themselves to each other. However, in fairytales there is no mention of gift registries, dress codes, bridal showers, or the much-feared bridezilla phenomenon. Why are weddings so much more about the accoutrements than the relationship they are supposed to be celebrating?
Most young girls dream of being a princess, and lots of them see getting married as a chance to be a princess for a day. Every bride should feel like a princess. The problem is when the bride acts like a princess, becoming demanding and overly precious, and not just for their wedding day.
A friend of mine was engaged previously, to a girl he was crazy about. As they began the process of choosing venues, flowers, dresses, cakes, photographers, et cetera, he found himself becoming less and less attracted to her newfound bossy, rude, and self-involved attitude. He ended up calling off the engagement after seeing how his fiancée had lost sight of the most important thing about getting married.
When my parents got married, my mother sewed her own dress. They got married in public gardens and invited only their families and closest friends. When the ceremony was over, everybody returned to my parent’s house for punch, cake, and dancing. It was simple, no fuss, and the focus of the day was where it should have been—on my parents, loving each other.
